There is a dangerous lie that every single person has believed at one point in their life. The lie is dangerous and toxic, and with permission, it can destroy anyone who allows it to be a part of their life. This lie can be disguised in several different ways, but each disguise is equally damaging and weighted.

"You are not good enough."

Everyone has experienced feeling that way or being told that at one point or another. I find myself increasingly plagued by this lie, and I have for a long time. If you are anything like me, you find yourself with this little buzzing lie in your head. You don't see it as the lie it is, but as the truth. It could be your parents who put this lie into your head, it can be teachers, bosses, partners, friends, or even strangers. The heartbreaking reality, you might have put it in your own mind, because you believe you are not enough. Whatever it is, it is foremost in your mind and it begins to take root, and spread to the rest of your mind, invading your every day life. Someone could make you feel like that in one area of your life, and before you know it, you apply it to another area of your life. Before you know it, it becomes your version of the truth for your whole life.

Believing this lie is painful. As it takes root, it slowly destroys you. It devours your happiness, it chokes your productivity, and it discards your desires and dreams. Your self image decreases to nearly nothing, and the self loathing takes place and overwhelms who you are. It changes who you are, and makes you hate what you see and feel.

I have been told way too much that I am not good enough. Not good enough for school, not good enough for the person I love, not good enough for the jobs I wanted or needed. Being told these things killed my passion for school, my loved one, and my jobs. When being told I wasn't good enough, areas of my life suffered. I believed I wasn't good enough for school, I believed that I wasn't good enough for my significant other, and I believed I wasn't good enough for the job I needed. Believing these lies caused my quality of life to dramatically decrease. I gave up on myself. I let myself go and I became unhealthy, mentally and physically. I believed that I wasn't important enough to spend my energy taking care of myself.

Suffering for a few years with this lie makes the recovery all the more difficult. It can be as painful and tedious as a person recovering from drug addiction. You sometimes can't see your progress, so you doubt your progress. You have a bad day, and you relapse into that same frame of mind. You encounter that negative person who fed you the lie, and the memories put it back into your head. Recovery is hard. Some days it seems impossible. But there is hope.

I am not fully recovered from suffering from this lie. I just want to share some ways you can stop believing this lie. My biggest help was surrounding myself with people who saw my true potential and my worth. I had to cut out those negative people who enforced the lie into my head. It may be hard, but it will benefit you in the long run of your recovery. Find a person who will reinforce your value on a regular basis. Hearing that you're valuable to someone really boosts your sense of worth. Next, find something that makes you happy. If you have a talent, invest in that talent and expand on it. For me, I found myself pleased with how well I can cook and bake. If things don't go as planned, don't be hard on yourself. Give yourself second chances and view them as an opportunity to learn and grow. Great things can't always be achieved with one try, but the effort is what counts! This next piece of advice might seem weird, but make yourself smile more. Smiles exude confidence, and they have the power to lift spirits in yourself or in those around you. If you can make at least one person smile, you have accomplished great things. If someone has told you that you are not good enough for a partner or a friend, don't believe them. Realize that your relationship is with that person only, and the negativity has no room because it comes from a third party. It may be a family member, it may be a friend. Your safest bet is to realize that they don't fully understand your relationship, and they have no room to give opinions. What you share with someone is a bond between two people, and anyone else is not part of your bond together. They may be part of your life, but they are not in the relationship with you as well, so their opinion is not relevant. Chose to ignore them and talk to your partner or friend about that lie so that you have grounding and less soil for that lie to grow in.

I hope that if you struggle with this lie, I have offered some advice that will help you. The list could go on and on, but I wanted to list some basics. You are truly worth overcoming this lie. You are, in fact, good enough. I send much love to anyone who undergoes the path to recovery. It will be long and hard, but I believe that you can uproot that lie and watch it burn as you find that you are enough.