Dear whomever is reading this,
It's me...the person you told others about as being this outgoing, cool friend. The one who used to be around a lot to bug you enough like a sibling but when I was silent, you realized at one point I was just your best friend or even your lover. I was the one you used to call pretty or even attractive, and I was the one who at times kept you in line or even went as far as blowing your phone up till you said "fine". Unfortunately for you, this letter is more than just our memories. It's a letter of your worse nightmare. It's my final words to you.
As you sit and read this, you may feel your cheeks become wet or you may ask why aloud to the world, but know I still care. I faced this evil thing called depression in the face for so long, it ate me alive. It hung on me for so long that it had become a game and now that game has come to an end. I begged for you to be by my side because a piece of me kept telling me that it was always unfair how I had your back while no one else had mine. My Facebook cry outs of how I always felt like I was alone while I knew I had friends was straight from my heart, and even then you didn't seem to care. My body was drowning while my head bobbed above the waves. I felt a pressure on my chest that no one could ever describe, and the idea of being alone usually brought tears to my eyes. Everybody else went out to the basketball games and to the parties while I sat at home laying under blankets in tears because nobody was answering texts or phones.
Don't worry, this wasn't your fault. See, I had this problem before I met you, and even then my own mother couldn't help, because she never knew. Everybody seemed to have a dark secret while I was around and depression was mine. During the day while at school or work, my smile was ear to ear because that's what was expected of me. It wasn't because I was really happy, it was because the world and society expected me to have this look that made me seem almost perfect. Like nothing was ever wrong when really my mind was always blank, I never had a shoulder to cry on, to laugh into, in fact I never had somebody there. Every time I thought I had met somebody to call a friend, I was betrayed. One after another. Nobody was there. People would say this is just how the cookie crumbles and talk about how unfair life is, but for me it was me. I saw myself in the mirror as the problem to this and eventually it killed me just enough to believe it.
One day you'll understand why, but until then this is the letter you never wanted. These are the real words of a broken human and unfortunately the human species is blind to them. Depression is a real thing and it's time to realize it. Suicide is one of the top five death causes in teenagers today and depression or loneliness is a participant in those suicides. Be a friend, a real human and try to stop this letter or similar letters because by being a friend, you're more than likely saving someone's life.
