An excerpt from the film Evan Almighty

An excerpt from the film Evan Almighty

I’ve been a believer for quite some time now, so I’ve been surrounded by people of the same faith. Throughout my journey with God, I encountered many Christians who share the same general prayers as I do. We ask God for guidance, protection, favor, deliverance, strength, patience, and the list goes on. Every beginning of the year, the prayers become more and more audacious. For instance, I’ve heard this prayer countless times: “God, please bring me closer to you!” Now, being close and intimate with God, the Creator of heaven and earth, sounds great. However, do we really know what this prayer means? Do we really know what we’re asking from God?

Because for me, the last thing that I want to ask from God is to bring me closer to Him.

I’ve prayed this prayer numerous times, and looking back, let me tell you: it has not been easy. I’ve met many disappointments, handled many rejections, faced many mountains, and endured losses. Things didn’t go the way I planned them to. I thought that by getting closer to God, things would get easier. I was wrong. Nonetheless, through those trials and testing, I was able to faintly grasp what it meant to pray that prayer.

I was reminded of the film "Evan Almighty." In the film, Joan, Evan’s wife, desires for her family to become closer to each other. Toward the end, when Joan felt like her family was falling apart, she was met by God in human form at a restaurant. They had a conversation, and it led to Joan’s prayer for her family. God pointed out, “If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?” God confirmed that her prayer is about an opportunity – how she’ll choose to respond when she encounters it.

In the same way, when we ask God to bring us closer to Him, He will give us opportunities to take us deeper into a relationship with Him. Because when we pray that prayer, we don’t wake up one day and magically feel so deeply in love with Him, or feel so happy that we want to read the Bible in one sitting, or feel so motivated that we resolve going to church every Sunday. These are not impossible to happen, but most of the time, that’s not how God works.

Look at the life of the apostle Paul. In his letter to the Philippians, he emphasized, “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.” Even the man who dedicated his life serving the Lord bore sufferings just to win Christ. Paul found satisfaction in God even in nothingness. What is more, most of God’s disciples went through suffering. It is important to mention that in every suffering, God’s grace is available, so we’re assured that we can get through anything. At the same time, every bad thing that God allows serves a purpose, for His glory and for the benefit of His children.

As for me, I learned that being close to God is staying with Him even when the world is caving in. It is seeking Him every day even when I don’t feel like it. It is worshiping Him in the midst of loss and pain. It is trusting Him even if things don’t make sense. It is still yearning for Him even when everything is going right. Those are the opportunities that made me closer to Him.

I guess I’m a fool. Despite the fact that there are dangers in the process of being close to Him, I still pray for it time and again – because nothing compares to the reward of being close to God – my Father. It is worth it. It may be the last thing that I want to ask from Him, but it is the very desire of my heart to be close to Him. And in my every prayer, “I want [His] will to be done, not mine.”