Last week, Larry Nassar was sentenced on the seven first degree criminal sexual conduct charges against him. I watched the live feed on my laptop that morning, crying for the victims.
I couldn't imagine the kind of strength it would take to stand up to your abuser and speak in front of a courtroom and thousands of people online, sharing your story, heartache, and disappointment in those around you, with your abuser sitting there, hands in face, acting remorseful for sexually assaulting over 100 girls through the years. I sat there and was so proud of these women for finding that strength and speak their truths.
Larry Nassar is one of the lowest men out there. I can't really think of something worse to do to someone. He used his power and title to isolate these girls. Doctors are supposed to be some of the most trusted individuals. They are supposed to be healers. He is the exact opposite. He isolated these young girls, violated them, and called it a "treatment".
One of the victim's testimonies this morning really hurt to hear. Kyle Stephens was a family friend of Nassar's. Before she was in kindergarten, he had violated her. She made the point to say that before she was in school, she had unknowingly and unwillingly participated in her first sexual encounter - before all of her baby teeth had even fallen out.
Kyle then went on to talk about how when she finally realized what was happening around the age of 12, she decided to tell her parents. They didn't believe her. They believed their friend over their daughter. What would a 12-year-old girl stand to gain from a lie like that?
As she continued reading her statement, she said that she started to isolate herself from her family through middle and high school, that her parents continued to try and make her apologize to Larry up until she went to college.
When the stories came out of what he had done to numerous other girls around the country, that's when her family finally believed her. Her relationship with her mother and father had been dismantled at that point. Her father committed suicide later that year. She believes that the guilt of not believing his daughter overtook him.
Her story stuck out to me. Larry's violation of her not only destroyed her sense of worth, but it also destroyed her relationship with her parents. It shows that sexual assault ripples outward and affects not only the victim, but those around them.
It causes trauma, distrust, heartache, and so much more that I could never find the words to express. Larry Nassar destroyed the lives of so many girls and families. No amount of sentencing will ever heal what he broke.
And as for Michigan State... I can't express the profound disappointment I feel in my school. President Simon knew the stories coming out and continued to employ someone who was accused of numerous acts of sexual assault.
Every year, students are required to take an online course about sexual assault. They repeat over and over to come forward and tell someone They pound into our heads to believe those who tell us.
So why then, when people were coming forward, did she not believe them and immediately suspend him? Why then, did the president of our university choose to believe Larry and not the women? I can't wrap my head around why he was allowed to set foot on this campus after the women came forward.
We need to start believing the stories and accusations. We need to believe our sisters, daughters, friends, brothers, and sons. We can't continue to discount what is being said.
Kyle might still have her relationship with her family if they had thought to believe her when she told them what Larry had been doing to her. Her father might have been alive to watch his grown, strong, daughter give a statement that moved me to tears. We need to start hearing the victims for progress to be made.
You can watch two of the girls' statements, including Kyle's here.
