Saying, "I love you," and, "I'm IN love with you," are very different phrases but equally big milestones in a romantic relationship. What do they really mean though? In my opinion, not many people sit down and think through the importance of these phrases, or the true emotion behind them, before saying them. Many couples in today's world say these three important words multiple times a day like a broken record, and within a few weeks of dating one another. This makes me question a lot of things.
Do you really need to hear it that often to know that your partner respects you/appreciates you/cares about you/has feelings for you/etc.? Do those words still hold the same heartfelt meaning if they are heard more than, "hello"? Are you really sure you want to declare that you LOVE someone, and aren't just lusting over them or crushing on them, after a few weeks of dating? There have been scientific studies performed over the years showing that the true emotions of heartfelt love, commitment, and passion don't arise until a couple has been together for three months.
For me, a few things must happen before I can tell if I love someone:
1. They meet my family, respect them and get along with them. As well as my family approving of them.
2. They've seen me ugly cry/get intensely angry/highly anxious and have calmed me down through it.
3. They've met my friends and accepted the goofiness and inside jokes that pour out of every sentence.
4. They've gained my trust, respect and commitment.
5. I've met their family and friends and appreciate the way they behave around their social groups.
These bullet points take time, more so than a few weeks allow. They will also change for each person: but I believe every one should have a few steps that must happen outside of dinner dates and laughter before those special words are said. A relationship that you want, or see, lasting does not need to be rushed.
No, I am not someone who has never been loved nor am I someone who has never loved another person. I am also not a man hater or a person who hates seeing others happy. I am just getting tired of seeing a phrase that was once so precious and important get taken for granted. There are dozens of ways to show your feelings, respect, appreciation, and care to your partner without using those words and I encourage our world to get a little more creative in doing so.
