Growing up in the church, I have heard several sermons on forgiveness. And while I sat and listened to each sermon, I never felt they were relevant to me. I have always been one to forgive and in some cases people have called me too forgiving. However, when I was hurt in a way that I thought would never happen to me, all those sermons became crucial.

I had a choice in how I would react and carry on, and although my first instinct was to not only be petty, but to wish harm on my offenders I quickly remembered what would come of it. Forgiving my offenders was truly hard for me and it is still something I have to deal with, but it was one of the best decisions that I have made. So for anyone who might be holding a grudge, here are a few reasons why you should let it go.

Being forgiving is for your own benefit. This is something I had to experience to understand. While I was sitting on hatred I realized it did not affect one of my offenders in the slightest. They went about their day uncaring of my hurt feelings and this is when I knew I was the only one truly affected by it. I no longer wanted to be a victim so, by forgiving them I allowed myself to no longer be affected by something that only mattered to me.

Letting go of a grudge can decrease stress. In a study done by Charlotte vanOyen Wilviet, a psychologist from Hope College, she asked people to think of someone that had hurt them and she found an increase in blood pressure, heart rate, and sweat gland activity. While they were reflecting on a grudge they felt angry, hurt, and in less control, and once she asked the individuals to emphasize with their offender their physical arousal decreased tremendously. There are many things that already cause stress such as work, school, and kids, so why add on a grudge? Forgive someone and your stress level will decrease.

You live longer when you forgive. According to a study done by the journal of behavioral medicine, those who forgive unconditionally live longer than those who wait for their transgressors to apologize. Sometimes you may never receive an apology, I hadn't, but that shouldn't keep you from forgiving someone.

You receive better sleep. When I was holding onto my grudge it definitely kept me up at night. the offense was constantly on my mind and it made me restless. It wasn't until I forgave that I was able to sleep better at night.

It can improve relationships. Just think about it, if you forgive those who are close to you in your life you can relieve the tension that is in the relationship. I find this true whenever I argue with my sister. My sister is someone I talk to everyday and whenever we have a big blowout I miss the daily conversations I would have with her. So instead of remaining angry with one another it is always better for us when we forgive, and then we can move on to better things like borrowing each other's clothes.

I know the difficulties of forgives but I also know the risks of holding onto anger and I know forgiving someone is much easer said than done. Forgiveness is an ongoing process especially in this world where people will hurt you. So whether you received that apology or not, let it go. Your mind and body will thank you.