As a student leader on campus, my job is to do things like set a positive example for others to follow, including classmates, residents, friends, and staff members. I try to be diligent, patient, understanding, and open-minded because those are qualities which every person should emulate. More than anything, I try to be there for others whenever they may need me. It could be to lend them a pot to boil spaghetti, to take them to Meijer, or to reassure them when they’re in doubt. Whatever the cause and whatever the reason, I aim to attend to everyone’s needs before my own. (Sometimes having a big heart is a little bit of a curse when it means you start to forget that you have to take care of yourself as well. Can’t pour water from an empty pitcher).

But oddly enough, up until yesterday, really, these past two weeks have discouraged me and made me question my ability to be helpful and to be needed. I almost felt as though I was just kind of existing, that I was just another person walking around campus. Sure, I’d interact with people I’d meet, friends or classmates, with smiles and giggles, and I’d excitedly get to spend time with my staff (shout out to the Newberry Blueberries), but I felt as though no one needed me for anything deep or personal. Many of the conversations and interactions I felt I was engaging in with others felt shallow in the sense that there wasn’t much meat to them. Conversations sounded more like, “Hey, how are you?!!!” than “Hey, I have something kinda hard that I wanted to talk to you about.”

I’ve always enjoyed helping others get through tough times. In fact, I enjoy helping people so much so that being able to be of service to others is directly related to my self-worth. I feel that since it is my calling in life to aid those in need that I must be able to help contribute positively to someone’s life to remember that I have value, for if I’m not helping people, what am I even doing?

Everyone around me seemed to be leading pretty good lives for the majority of the past two weeks. I myself have had some hardship that I have been dealing with, but for the most part, others seemed to be doing just fine. In fact, they would greet my giggly smiles with cheery faces of their own, and life seemed to be treating all of us very kindly, not that I’m complaining. After a tough week of intensive training dealing with very heavy topics, we could use some good karma. Nevertheless, my self-worth started to dwindle ever so slightly because I wasn’t using my superpower – compassion.

But in mainly the past day, I have gotten more than my share of opportunities to help others thrown my way, almost as if life recognized how worthless I felt and said, “Oh, shoot! We forgot to send people Tyessa’s way! I guess we’ll just send her a whole bunch of people within the next 24 hours to make up for it.” Between residents, friends, and staff members, I was able to help at least seven people in just a day’s time. Although my wish is that no one ever has to experience sadness, bad days, or negative thoughts, feelings, or emotions, being able to help others after feeling unhelpful for nearly two weeks made me feel better about my role as a student leader, a friend, a coworker, a significant other, a family member, and a mentor.

I can’t help but realize that the need that exists to let others know they have value and worth and are needed even when their talents aren’t being utilized at the moment is a large one. I think that so often we don’t even realize when friends or classmates fall into a lieu of time where they’re just kind of drifting through life, unable to be inspired to use their gifts and talents in the appropriate setting. Some people may cover up their feeling of being lost really well, as I did with my smiles and laughter, and for those persons, it may be harder to notice the struggle that is going on. For some, it may be obvious. They may even tell you that they feel as though no one needs them or their gifts. Remember to make sure those around you feel worth something. Just because you don’t have opportunities to use your superpowers now doesn’t mean your chances aren’t right around the bend, but be careful. You too could get two weeks’ worth of opportunity hitting you all at once!