Some people in this world are the type of people who hate to be alone. They fear being by themselves for any amount of time and need constant social interaction. There's also some people in this world who all they do is spend time by themselves. They love all the time they get to have alone, locked away in their rooms, hidden from the outside. There is an importance in having a good mix of both. It's not healthy to always be by yourself, but it's not healthy to always need to be around others either. Having that time alone is essential for a good reason - to find yourself.

We all probably know someone in our lives who constantly needs to be out doing something with people or is the type that always needs to be in a relationship because they hate being alone. Why is that word, "alone," so scary to some people? Probably because no one wants to be completely isolated. That's something we probably could all agree on. But this time to yourself is crucial, because it allows you to dig deeper into who you are and find out things about yourself that you may have never known before. Before anyone can be in a healthy relationship with someone, they need to have spent some time by themselves, going through the everyday motions of life without someone attached to their hip, to find out what they want in life, their interests, hobbies, what makes them tick, their fears, etc. If you're constantly around someone, you start to lose sight of yourself if you haven't had that time to discover these things. You've probably heard the phrase "you are who your friends are." Yes, your friends are probably very much like you, and that's why you click so well. But you are also an individual very different from them at the same time. When you're around them too much, you lose time to indulge in your own hobbies and interests that satisfy your individuality. Before anyone can be in a healthy relationship with a significant other, they need to have spent some time "finding themselves." That may sound cliche, but it's so true. Think about it: how can you be in a relationship and allow yourself to open up to them and see all your parts if you, yourself, don't know what these parts are?

Anyone who knows me knows I haven't been in a relationship for a very long time. Many of my friends encourage me to try to find someone and "get myself out there." I know it is out of concern and they want me to be happy, but what they don't realize is that I AM happy. This is the point I'm trying to get across to them, and everyone else. I've kept myself single, and spend a good portion of time by myself because I needed it. I've spent this time doing things by myself, focusing on my schoolwork, my writing, doing things I like to do, and doing a lot of self-discovery and self-reflection because I can't allow someone to see who I am if I don't even know who she is. As time has gone on, I've learned so much about myself and what I want out of this crazy life. This time alone has also given me experiences where I have learned what I want in my friendships and what I feel is important in a relationship and a significant other when the time comes. If you can't be happy being alone, then you can't be happy with someone else. Overall, if you can't make yourself happy, you can't make someone else happy. Because of these years I've spent single and on my own when I meet someone, I'll be able to show them my full self, because I've had the time to get to know her and all she has to offer.

There's nothing wrong with spending time with yourself. Do not be afraid of getting to know yourself. You may discover some dark pieces of yourself but learn about those pieces and how to make sense of them. You'll learn all the beautiful things about yourself and this will increase your self-esteem and self-love. No one else can love you if you don't love yourself. The person looking back at you in the mirror is the only person who you know 100 percent will be there for you until the end, and will never leave. Learn to love yourself and don't be afraid to get to know him/her. Seriously, how can you go through life not knowing about yourself? It will cause conflicts in every aspect of your life if you don't take that time to figure you out. You will be with and there for yourself through everything in your days on this Earth. Embrace your time alone, and spend it with the best friend you will ever have: yourself.