Let’s face it, when an 18-year old leaves home, she is pretty much ready to take on the adult world. She knows everything she will ever need to know how to succeed. She is well-versed in bill-paying, tire-changing, and tax-doing. The only thing she will need, while earning her college degree, of course, is simple.
She needs a husband.
Once she finds him, she can truly begin her life. It’s almost as if every day leading up to the day she heads to the altar has been a practice run of real life. Now that she is someone’s wife, she has value. She has a future – and mostly, she is made whole. It’s like her entire life she’s been merely surviving as a half-human, scouring the world and the local Starbucks for the man that will complete her person.
Stop laughing, because you probably know far too many college-age people who actually think the words above are true.
I have spent four years at a Christian college, where the hunt to find a mate is real. In fact, we do things at a hyper speed here – because if you don’t get married before you graduate, you can’t move to either Texas or Louisiana to go to seminary together. THIS IS NOT A JOKE, PEOPLE. Couples meet and know within weeks that they are following God’s will, and they follow it straight to the altar before they’ve experienced both winter and summer as a couple.
(Disclaimer: I do think a quick relationship pre-marriage works for some, but this is not the regular situation, or the regular expectation.)
Outside of this Christian-college bubble, we all know these aren’t realistic expectations, but when that bubble is where you live, what’s a girl to do?
During my freshman year, I was set on the idea that I would graduate college with a husband, or fiancé at the very least. I met many new friends who all shared the same dream – I was so inspired by them that I bought a journal specifically for the purpose of writing letters to my future husband. Y’ALL. I didn’t even have a boyfriend and I was writing to an imaginary soulmate.
A wise friend reminded me when I shared my journal proudly, saying, “That’s cool, but…have you thought about the fact that God didn’t promise you a husband?”
What?
But what is my life if it’s not being someone’s wife?
I began to dive deeper into Scripture than I had ever before, learning exactly what it was that God has promised me. My friend was right – there’s no verse that even suggests that this life will bring me a husband. I was devastated. That was, until I learned some more of God’s promises.
God promises to love me and pursue me. He promises to make me a new creation when I give my life to Him. He promises me He will walk through the highs and lows with me, and that He will never leave my side.
And He promises that He alone is enough.
Y’all, these things are so much sweeter than a spouse.
Don’t get me wrong. I really believe that marriage is one of God’s most special gifts. I believe that a couple can join lives and serve God in ministry together, and I think God gave a unique role to both man and wife.
But I don’t believe that I have to wait for a husband for my life to start. I don’t believe that this life is just practice for the real thing that comes when a ring is placed on my left hand.
I believe that my ministry is right now. I believe that I can follow God as a single, 20-something, and live my days to glorify Him. I believe I can serve and love and impact the world for Christ with or without a man by my side.
I believe that’s what He has called us to: to love, to serve, to glorify His name.
And I don’t believe I need my MRS. Degree to do that.
