The honeymoon phase. When couples stare lovingly into each other eyes, post about each other all the time and tag one another in cute social media posts every two seconds. The phase that most long-term couples look at with either envy or disgust.
You just wait, they think to themselves.
Because that phase does not last long and certainly does not last forever. It’s different for every couple. Those in high school tend to last all of a couple weeks. Those out of high school can make it last a couple months. Some stick out the phase for a good three or four months.
And some get really lucky and make it last for half a year.
But not everyone is as lucky as those people. And what comes after the honeymoon phase tends to make or break the relationship.
The things that you once loved about your significant other now drive you insane. You argue over trivial things every other day. Nothing seems to go right between the two of you.
It’s even worse if you’re in a long-distance relationship.
“I can’t wait to see you,” used to be cute, and now it’s annoying. The protectiveness is now controlling. The visits don’t mean as much as they used to. You argue simply because you miss each other and don’t know how to cope with it anymore.
Visits become more of a chore rather than anything else.
I’m five months in, and we have reached the end of our honeymoon phase. I think it ended not quite a month ago. We went from arguing every now and then to almost every day.
We get on each other's nerves daily. Sometimes, I want to strangle him (love you, babe). It doesn’t help that we are also a long-distance relationship.
So, what was already bound to happen is amplified by 80 miles of traffic.
But it doesn’t matter if you are long distance or live up the street from each other; if your honeymoon phase lasted two weeks or five and a half months, this is your make or break point of the relationship.
You’re going to argue, and you’re going to argue a lot.
So, if you really love this person, you better be ready to fight through it. Because it’s going to suck. I hate arguing with him. It makes me sick to my stomach and feels like I want to commit murder at the same time.
You’re not going to see eye-to-eye on everything. You’ll have to learn to agree to disagree. There will be lots of compromises, and sometimes, you’ll have to do things you don’t want to do.
But in the end, it’s all for the better.
There’s no formula for this, and I wish I could tell you there was. Every relationship is different. Some people can’t go to bed angry. Others need a night to sleep it off. Some people scream. Others shut down for hours.
You’ll learn how to argue.
Yes, I know that doesn’t seem like something anyone would really want to learn how to do. Fighting with your significant other is a daunting task. But sometimes things need to be said...even if they will start an argument.
And sometimes it’s just stupid shit that has no meaning to it whatsoever, but you’ll argue about it anyway.
You will figure it out.
Because eventually, all that arguing will stop. You’ll get out of that phase of your relationship and everything will be OK again. You just have to be willing to fight for that person.
We’re still learning how to argue, but we’re getting there. And I’m going to keep arguing until we figure it out because he’s beyond worth it.
He’s my best friend, just like your significant other is your best friend. So fight for them and work through your shit.