Attending a university with over 50,000 students is a bit overwhelming. Needless to say, I had a few rough moments while trying to adapt into the whole college thing. I've always been able to overcome anything life throws at me; my "bring it on" stubborn mentality has gotten me places I never thought I could go, and has always set me up for the best opportunities available to me. However, during this transition period in my life I felt like something was missing. I felt like something wasn't complete within me. This feeling is tough to describe and I couldn't quite pin-point what I needed to do in order to satisfy the uncomfortable feeling I was experiencing.
This is when I started to pray, and the emptiness inside me disappeared.
It is important for me to be vulnerable and open about the history I have with religion and faith; the only note worthy point here is that I have never been a religious individual. I rarely went to church growing up, and I questioned God's existence, purpose and intentions. I feel as if a lot of people all over the world have felt conflicted when it comes to faith because it can seem taboo to many. I've been on that side of the spectrum where I went about life not thinking about God and faith; it was never important to me. That's until I experienced the power of prayer and God's magic first hand, and my mind quickly changed.
Within the last few months, I was feeling empty as stated previously. It wasn't necessarily a "bad" empty feeling, I just knew something was off and I couldn't figure out why. So, I decided to pray to God. "I know we don't talk much, but I really hope you're listening to me because I need you right now." I continuously prayed for clarity, confidence, patience and strength almost every night, and my life started to change before my own eyes.
When initially forming a bond with God, I was extremely intimidated and felt like it wouldn't do much. I didn't really know any history, I'm not as familiar with the bible as I would like to be and I certainly don't know the Lord's prayer. On top of my lack of knowledge, I was afraid to pray. I was afraid that maybe I wasn't doing it right, or maybe he wasn't listening because I was never devoted to him in the past. But regardless of all that, as soon as I started to pray I automatically felt loved and accepted by someone I have never even met during my initial prayers. I felt that he was listening to me, and accepting me for all that I am which can be hard to find within the everyday human being. Not to mention, I felt a huge weight that was lifted off of my own shoulders. I still to this day feel that sense of peace and calming every single time after I'm finished praying.
I received conformation from him; I just knew he was listening to me. I saw signs everywhere I turned, so often that they couldn't be mistaken as a coincidence. I knew that God was what I was missing in my day to day life. I gained comfort in the fact that he will always be there. Nothing here on this Earth is promised the next day, but God will always be there. My problems may seem like the end of the world, but when I give them up to God he magically and willfully solves them for me. He listens to me; he has shown me his unconditional love and keeps it that way, which again is hard to find in everyday relationships.
Building this relationship has become a goal of mine, and I try my best everyday to show him that I want him in my life and that I need him in my life. He has sent me so many signs that I've been neglecting in the past. He has brought my mood up and gave me the sense of security that I was longing for. I've seen the wonders he has worked for me, so it's only fair for me to give him my loyalty back.
No I was never faithful to any type of religion growing up, which is why I was so shocked by the results I was seeing after praying. It was an experience I can't really describe unless you experience it first hand like I did. If something seems off or nothing is going your way, I encourage you to seek God and ask him to help you. It may take some time for things to fall into place, but if you put in the work then he will help you the rest of the way. Even if your life is perfect and you see no problems, still pray. Thank him for the blessings you've received and ones you maybe took for granted. Thank him for the lessons he's made you learn and the path he is leading you on. He will accept you with open arms and he will never turn his back on you. Do right by God as God has done right by you.
He is officially the homie.
