From the outside perspective, it seems great. Two of each holiday, double the presents, and double the food. But coming from the inside, it's far too much anxiety, traveling, stress and worry.
Whose holiday is it? Are you forgetting what time each family gathering starts? What happens when you have to leave one early to go to another? Will one parent be alone while you're at the other parent's?
The picking and choosing and feeling like you're literally picking your favorite parent adds nothing but stress. Or having parents literally fight over your time. Not to mention when one or both parents get married, you now have three or four of the same holiday to attend. And if you're in a serious relationship and have a significant other who you spend the holidays with, that could double your already doubled holiday events.
Each holiday becomes a competition about where you'll go, or whose holiday is the best, and sometimes your parents will even facilitate these debates. The insults parents will say about each other, the traditions the other celebrates, and how each holiday is celebrated only puts you in the middle, forced to choose, or sit in silence while the drama continues.
Each holiday becomes a weeklong event, and the true meaning of the holiday is lost in the chaos. Having your own car and driver's license makes this only slightly easier, but if you have to drive siblings around, it only adds an additional stress.
You'd think having more holidays, which means more food, would be an amazing thing, but it's actually more frustrating, from feeling like you can only eat so much at the first in fear of being stuffed for the second, to feeling bad for not eating a full meal at either gathering. Bringing a dish to pass? Do you count under your parent's dish? Do you need to bring your own? What if you're not eating because you ate just hours before? It is all too stressful.
When it comes to gift giving, you'd think it would be easier, but in fact, it's more difficult. Your parents have different budgets, so giving them a list only makes things difficult. Especially when you want something expensive and the parent with the bigger budget wants to get you more than just one thing, not to mention repeat gifts that you have to be excited to get for the second time.
Getting off work? You're funny. You want me to request the day before, and the day of Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, plus a couple of random days for Christmas parties? Do you want me to have a job? Do you want me to pay for gifts? Gas isn't free, you know?
Divorced parents can be great, don't get me wrong, but the holidays are far too stressful. The holidays become the most dreaded time of the year, rather than the "most wonderful time of the year," and it takes the joy out of them.
