When a romantic relationship ends, there is a series of events one goes through to mourn the loss. Vent to friends, spend a whole day in bed with Netflix and take out, pick up a hobby, rescue a pet, etc. People are sympathetic when the potential for “true love” slips through your fingers. A type of heartbreak that some people may not be as empathetic towards is the brokenhearted feeling you get when you lose a friend.

When growing up, growing apart from people is a part of the process of maturing. It’s only natural for your likes, dislikes, beliefs and values to change as you get older, therefore influencing who you choose to spend your time with. The friends you had in primary school are, more than likely, way different than the friends you had in high school. Most of the time, friendships end gradually, as two people grow apart. Usually, there are no hard feelings and you look back at the fun times the two of you had.

However, when you get older and begin to value friendship in a different way, a loss of a friendship can be devastating.

Everyone remembers the one friend they lost and never really understood why. Things seemed to be normal. You talked everyday, enjoyed each other’s company and still had a long list of hilarious inside jokes. Maybe life outside your friendship became too much to bear and you haven’t given them the attention they deserve. Maybe you had a few bad days and then suddenly your friendship fell off the face of the earth.

You tried to mend things, but you were unsure how to fix a problem that came out of nowhere. You were shocked and left heartbroken by a person who used to be the only one that truly knew you.

You blame yourself. You claim you’re just too emotional and need to get over yourself. You wanted a friendship that resembled true love and soulmates and that was too much to ask for. You blame yourself.

You’ll always remember the confused, gut-wrenching feeling when you realized your friendship was over.

Any relationship will have its ups and downs. When you spend a lot of time with a person, things will eventually get tense. The real test of one’s friendship is how they handle moments of flawed human behavior.

Don’t be ashamed to mourn the loss of a friendship. Friends will break your heart just as badly as any romantic relationship. Allow yourself to feel the brokenhearted feeling of this loss and don’t be discouraged from finding your friendship soulmate. It’ll happen one day.