As cliché as it sounds, it's true: the heart wants what it wants.
As much as we try to deny it or even ignore it, the heart has the power to completely control our body; and there is no stopping it when it knows what it wants. No matter how many times our friends tell us we deserve better, we won't listen. No matter how many times our family tries to change our minds, we won't care. Because love is both good and evil. When it's good it's great, and when it's bad, it's awful. Love is like a loaded gun: and it shoots to kill. But no matter how many bullets are loaded, we continue to come back like we're playing a game of Russian roulette, and we can't seem to get enough.
The sad part is that we know we deserve better. We know what is lying on the other side of that bullet, and it's our broken heart. We know that once that trigger is pulled, there is no going back. We'd much rather take the risk, than end it- no matter how bad it really is. We'll lie to our friends and say it's over, and sneak around like Bonnie and Clyde to put off the heart break for one more day. Except one more day always turns into a week, a month, a year and so on. When the heart wants something, it wants it more and more when we know we shouldn't have it. It would rather hold onto a bad thing than break- so we stay, and we stay, and we stay. Over and over again.
It becomes a vicous cycle, because our hearts love to play with fire. It's like the devil, and it'll always choose what it knows we shouldn't do. Why? Because it knows that's what we actually want. No matter how hard we try to deny it, we love who we love, and sometimes we're just not ready to walk away. And guess what? That is okay. Eventually our friends become so fed up with it that they either walk away, or refuse to talk to us about it. You know what I say? Screw them. If you're not ready to walk away from something, then you're not ready and that is okay. Because there is nothing worse than forcing yourself to move on when you're not ready- you'll second guess yourself over and over again till you drive yourself crazy. Follow your heart, because even when it breaks, it makes you stronger. If you love him, don't leave him. Your happiness comes first, not your friends.
So what if you lose a few friends- they aren't your friends anyways. I'm tired of seeing people walk away because everyone tells them that they should. It is your heart that will break, not theirs. If you love someone, love them fiercely. Love them intensely. Love them as crazy as your heart will allow- because no matter how bad it is, if you love him, you love him and that is okay.
It's okay to cry at night. Is that what you deserve? Absolutely not. But crying is how the heart speaks when you can't so cry as much as you need to. It's okay to get mad and scream at the top of your lungs. It's okay to tell yourself you hate him when you know that you just hate that you love him. It's okay to love someone that you know that you shouldn't. Why? Because you can't control who you fall in love with. The heart does, and the heart wants what it wants. So stop listening to anyone but yourself. Love a little more, and think a little less. Because guess what? It's okay.
Stay beautiful.
