The Healing Process: How I Dealt With My First Bad Break-Up
Start writing a post

The Healing Process: How I Dealt With My First Bad Break-Up

A guide to truly breaking up with that bad ex and becoming a new and improved you- from personal experience.

The Healing Process: How I Dealt With My First Bad Break-Up
51 Sad Breakup Quotes

Everyone has been there. You thought you met the love of your life and y’all were going to run away to Mexico and forget all your problems only for him to crush your heart by A) cheating on you, B) ruining your life, or C) all of the above. Now, you could wallow in your newly ruined life or you could learn from this dreadful experience and manifest into the person you were always meant to be. This is a list of steps I have followed and will continue to follow as I (hopefully) continue to become a better version of myself every day. Wherever you are on your journey, whether it be fresh heartbreak or years down the road, I hope these steps can help you like they have helped me.

Step 1: Take your time.

A true break-up takes time; a long time. When I was breaking up with my ex, it took months and months of break-ups for me to finally decide I was done accepting what I didn’t deserve, because after accepting this treatment, it was hard to think there was anything better. However, once I knew I was done, I was beyond done. I knew I could not truly love my ex anymore without hurting myself; and so it was over.

Step 2: Allow yourself to cry (a lot!).

The whole time I was going through this break-up everyone told me I shouldn’t cry over this guy; but I needed to. When you’re in a relationship with someone for a while or you spend a lot of time together, you start imagining things with this person. You start picturing your future with this other person involved in everything you do. It was so hard for me to erase the plans we had made. It took me crying way too many tears, but more importantly it took me making plans of my own.

Step 3: Make a clean break.

This is probably the step that’s hardest for most people when breaking up with their significant other. This is also why step one and two are so important. The point is to make sure you are all the way done and you have no regrets when building your new and improved self.

Step 4: Re-learn what you like and re-love yourself.

When you’re in a relationship it’s easy to lose yourself. You lose what you like when you start having shared likes and you start to put all of your eggs (and your love) in one basket. This makes breaking up extra hard. However, it is important after you make your clean break to get back to you. If it’s been so long that you forgot what you like, try a bunch of random stuff. I learned that I wasn’t going to find my passion laying in bed, feeling scared to get hurt again. I had to go outside and discover what I liked and what I didn’t. With every experience I learned to take pride in myself again. This pride in myself was easily transformed for hope in my own future. I could finally believe in myself again.

The last and final step: Don’t be afraid.

Although this relationship was dreadful, it taught me one of the most important lessons in life: To never be afraid when it comes to love (or pretty much anything else). I realized that getting my feelings hurt was not a reason to stop loving or stop living.

Richard Bach once said, “What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls the butterfly” and I honestly couldn’t agree more. I had to go through what I felt was death at the time, now I have such a full new life and I’m more than grateful for it.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

A Beginner's Wine Appreciation Course

While I most certainly do not know everything, I feel like I know more than the average 21-year-old about vino, so I wrote this beginner's wine appreciate course to help YOU navigate the wine world and drink like a pro.

White wine being poured into a glass

Keep Reading...Show less
Types of ice cream

Who doesn't love ice cream? People from all over the world enjoy the frozen dessert, but different countries have their own twists on the classic treat.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

100 Reasons to Choose Happiness

Happy Moments to Brighten Your Day!

A man with a white beard and mustache wearing a hat

As any other person on this planet, it sometimes can be hard to find the good in things. However, as I have always tried my hardest to find happiness in any and every moment and just generally always try to find the best in every situation, I have realized that your own happiness is much more important than people often think. Finding the good in any situation can help you to find happiness in some of the simplest and unexpected places.

Keep Reading...Show less

Remember The True Meaning of Christmas

“Where are you Christmas? Why can’t I find you?”

A painting of the virgin Mary, the baby Jesus, and the wise men

It’s everyone’s favorite time of year. Christmastime is a celebration, but have we forgotten what we are supposed to be celebrating? There is a reason the holiday is called Christmas. Not presentmas. Not Santamas. Not Swiftmas. Christmas.

boy standing in front of man wearing santa claus costume Photo by __ drz __ on Unsplash

What many people forget is that there is no Christmas without Christ. Not only is this a time to spend with your family and loved ones, it is a time to reflect on the blessings we have gotten from Jesus. After all, it is His birthday.

Keep Reading...Show less
Golden retriever sat on the sand with ocean in the background
Photo by Justin Aikin on Unsplash

Anyone who knows me knows how much I adore my dog. I am constantly talking about my love for her. I attribute many of my dog's amazing qualities to her breed. She is a purebred Golden Retriever, and because of this I am a self-proclaimed expert on why these are the best pets a family could have. Here are 11 reasons why Goldens are the undisputed best dog breed in the world.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments