I don't think it's any secret that in today's world it's hard to love your body. It is especially hard when you look at what today's society fits as the ideal beauty. There have been many times where I've felt defeated with trying to accept myself. I used to have long, dragged out arguments with myself about how much I hate the body that I'm in. I can't tell you how many times in the summertime where I would wear long jeans or long leggings just because I didn't want to show my body and because of how ashamed I felt of my body! Those days were some of the hardest days for me because I would let myself feel so defeated. At some points, I wish there was a bigger word for defeated because I would emotionally detach myself from my body and cry for hours.
When I go on to Instagram and I see the ideal image of beauty for women it's hard to look at those pictures and not feel bad about yourself, especially when you don't look anything like them. I always said to myself, "You'll never look like that." I so badly wanted to fit into a size one when I was a size 12. I so badly wanted long legs and a body to show off a bikini. I so wanted to look like those girls off of Instagram.
For a long time, I fought my mental health with body imagery.
It was hard to be in the body that I was in because I hated it so much. I would try diets, nutritionists, and going to the gym but as soon as I saw that my results weren't getting to where I wanted them, I would shut down. As soon as that hard journey was over, I realized that I wasn't fighting to get a healthy body, I was fighting to get a body that was unrealistic. I wasn't putting my health first, I was putting this unrealistic image in my head.
This is the harsh reality of someone who struggles with body image.
I want anyone who is struggling with the same thing to know that it will pass and one day you will gain the confidence that you deserve. Everyone deserves to feel good about themselves. The journey will be rough, to begin with, but that hurricane will turn into a rainbow - I promise! One of my favorite quotes when it comes to this is "If you feel pretty, you are pretty."