There's a sad truth in life that many people try to ignore. We try to avoid it. We try to work around it. Some people may just face it, but for some reason, I just can't. It's the occasional vitality of saying goodbye to someone-- not see-ya-later, not hasta-la-vista, just very simply goodbye. My problem with it is that I think of life as a series of books-- each friendship a different one with many chapters of adventures and fights and jokes... Each relationship is a book that I write, or maybe rather one that I'm reading, because I know I'm not calling all the shots. But it's hard for me to just walk away from a book... I am a person that abhors reading for that very reason. I get so engrossed in it that I can't walk away until I'm done! (Unfortunately, I read at a glacial pace, so it takes forever.) But same with relationships! I can't just walk away from a friendship having no closure, no resolution, nothing... What if Sleepless in Seattle had ended as soon as Annie had made it to the top of the Empire State Building and Sam and Jonah never came back? What then? Well, I'd imagine that the movie would not have been nearly as great a success as it was... But why? Because it left you distraught! It left you wondering! It left you forever pondering "what if"... But, you know, that kind of story isn't one you have to walk away from. There are some that, although just as hard to turn from, are more detrimental than you choose to acknowledge.
Saying goodbye is never easy. Especially, when it is one-sided. But, sadly, there are times when such is necessary. People get hurt. People cry. And if you're like me, you're very likely to sacrifice your own well-being just so that the friend doesn't get hurt and doesn't cry. Sometimes, saying goodbye is best for both of you. But one person just can't seem to see it. You forcefully tear yourself away from them, only to find them consumed by resentment, and what do you do? Do you yet again return, putting yourself aside? Do you return to the book to see the same plot repeated over and over again? Or do you recognize yourself as a victim who for once must absolutely choose himself and think of the good of the other in the long-run?
Sometimes, you have to close the book. You have to walk away. It's never easy. It's never fun. And it probably won't feel like a burden has been lifted... at first. It might never fully go away. Removing someone from your life will forever leave a scar on your heart, but the wound itself will heal over time. That hardest goodbye may follow you forever, but there comes a time when you must choose yourself.
