The hardest goodbye is one that isn’t caused by mere distance. The hardest goodbye is when you have to part ways because remaining the same is only hurtful to the both of you.
As I sit here wiping tears from my red and swollen eyes, I finally understand that you will never be the person I need you to be. Time after time I convince myself to hold onto fragments of hope that you will choose and you will choose me. Because facing the truth is not a truth I wish to know.
Somehow, long walks, reckless adventures and late-night phone calls turned into a familiar sound. Being with you feels safe and comforting. It feels like something we’ve done a million times before. Most of all, it feels like something I never want to end. As every dreamer must wake, I am overwhelmed that although I’m with you, I know that you’re not with me.
Perhaps time heals all wounds. Perhaps in time when I think of you, I’ll smile as I remember the happiness you brought me opposed to the hurt and angst I'm left with every time we argue. Perhaps in time I will understand why the things we want the most aren’t always meant to be.
Over time, you have taught me more about myself than I ever would have fathomed. You know how to make me crack a smile even in my worst moods. You know how to comfort me when I feel alone and unsure. You know what I’m thinking without having to say a word. There are so many things I truly love about you and to list them would simply make this more difficult. While it pains me to let you go, I know that everything happens for a reason. Although I may not see it now, you've served a purpose in my life and I thank you for that.
There is a part of me that wants to be angry and there is a part of me that wants to be sad. But there is a voice in my head telling me that God has a plan that is greater than the one at hand. Although I am blinded by hurt, I’ve learned that there are far greater things ahead than those we leave behind.
While time is currently not on our side, perhaps our paths will align in time to come.
For now, I am lucky to have had the chance to know you. And I hope you feel the same about me.
