A lot of my life has been spent watching people. As a child, I was taught to voice my opinions by some but pushed to the end of the dinner table by others. This was fine to me at the time because I was more focused on the mac and cheese than the conversation. Later on, however, I realized that the adults were talking about things that I actually cared about. While I couldn't contribute to the conversation, I could listen. So I listened. Time after time, dinner after dinner, event after event, I listened to the adults in my life discuss politics, religion, religion in politics (unfortunately), people in our community and their own lives. I've listened to my friends talk about their perspectives on struggles we go through together. During my first semester of college, I was introduced to so many new perspectives and lifestyles. I only have 19 years of experience with other people. And relatively speaking, I've only met a handful of people, but I have found that the happiest people are those that live to love others.
Young people especially taught to do what is best for themselves. Allow me to explain this. I understand the necessity of valuing oneself during particular times in your life. Putting yourself first is helpful in discovering who you are and what impact you want to make on the world. But if you're only capable of putting yourself first, you will never make an impact on the world. In order to make any kind of impact, you have to maintain successful relationships in your life. That means knowing how to put others before yourself. That means understanding that sometimes it is not all about you. You are not the center of the universe.
Millennials in particular struggle with this. I'm a millennial, I should know. I have great pride in my generation. I sincerely believe that we have the capacity to change the world in ways historically unheard of. I also know the harm we have the ability to inflict upon the world. We are selfish. It's true. I've experienced it first hand and I've been guilty of believing that the world owes me something. The reality of it is that we have been taught to put ourselves first, and that is why we are so harmful. That's the truth. If you're not a millennial, stop criticizing millennials for our spoiled nature and self-obsession, we had to learn it from somewhere. If you're a millennial, stop using the fact that you are the way you are because you're parents raised you that way as an excuse. Do something about it. Millennials are spoiled and selfish because Generation X raised us that way. It's a vicious cycle and a ridiculous argument. The real war here is not young people versus middle-aged people, it's an inner struggle in all of us. It's the difficulty to put others before ourselves.
That is where most of the world's problems lie. Humans have always struggled with our selfish nature. And our self-oriented ideas have caused more destruction to each other and our planet than we could ever imagine. We put ourselves first, hoping it will make our lives successful and happy. The happiest people are the ones who put others first and know the value of that. The only thing we leave behind when we leave this earth is the impact we had on those around us. What exactly are you contributing to the world that you can't value another life?
The fundamental difference between life and intimacy is love and relationships. The only way to attain love and happiness in your life is to learn that there are some things that are more important than you and what you want. Find someone who shows you that you are not the center of the universe. Find someone who knows that they are not they center of the universe. Seek out the people who know how small we truly are and understand the value of friendship and relationships in a life. Those people are the happiest. The happiest people know the value of other lives.
