The Guy Who Wants You Will Give You The World

The Guy Who Wants You Will Give You The World

Not every guy will give you what you deserve, but the right one will.
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I used to hear this saying, that you never knew how badly you were treated until someone comes along and treats you right. I didn't think much of it, I figure you always knew whether you were treated right or wrong, and maybe you did know, but that doesn't change that you can forget what it feels like to be treated the way you deserve.

When you spend months waiting for calls to come, you get used to the phone not ringing. When you spend months waiting for your partner to come home at night, you get used to sleeping alone. When you spend nights not knowing what your partner is doing, you get used to the thoughts of them being unfaithful to you.

You may consciously know that you aren't being treated the way you should be, you may look at your friends relationships and envy the closeness that them and their significant other seem to have, but the normalcy of the behavior your partner has to treat you badly, makes you not think it's that bad at all. You think it's normal, and you continue to think it's normal, until one day, you don't.

The last straw was pulled.

So you move on, you're finally done and ready to move forward. Somewhere along that path of moving forward, you decide it's okay not to be alone. It's scary. From the first date to the first time they come home with you, you don't wait up. You are programmed to adapt to the way you used to be treated.

You actually become confused when they text you everyday, you are surprised that they think to surprise you, you cannot process the fact that they are open and honest with their feelings. You don't think that guys are even capable of treating you like this, but the guy who wants you will.

He will call every night when he says he will, he will tell you good morning every morning. He will tell that you're beautiful, and that he's lucky to have you. He will wonder why anyone could ever hold someone as precious as you and not be able to value their beauty and grace. He will surprise you. Not necessarily with gifts, but with dates, or visits, or compliments, you will know it by his touch. He will know and pay attention to the most important details about you, and he will take notes of the things others would not have listened to.

You will expect an argument to end with insults, tears, and all the things wrong with you, and you will not understand how it could end with an "I'm sorry." You will think that they'll go out and you won't know who they're with or what they're doing, but they will daily want to be with you instead.

Your prior partner hated that you wanted him to text you at 3 a.m. to make sure he got home safe, but the guy who wants you will.

He used to complain about you wanting him to stay in with you on Friday nights after a work week, but the guy who wants you will.

He hated going to dinner with your family, but the guy who wants you will.

He stopped telling you you're beautiful, he made you feel undesirable, he didn't tell you everyday how lucky he was to have you, but the guy who wants you will.

People follow my posts because they look for inspiration, I haven't been able to give much inspiration lately because I've been trying to figure things out for myself. I've spent weeks upon weeks trying to decode and discover, trying to find the hidden reasons for a behavior and understand the emotion behind it. But eventually, you get tired.

You stop texting, you stop answering, you stop praying and waiting and wishing, and when you do, it allows you to notice the man who truly wants you in his life. I like to follow my own advice, and I haven't written to you all in awhile because I was a victim of my own optimism. The other day, I decided I should because I hadn't been.

I decided to let things play out the way that they should, I took a few step backs and allowed others to step forward. I can't tell you that my love story ends the way a fairytale would, he didn't realize that he screwed up. He didn't burst through my front door with flowers, we didn't ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. He still texts me when he's drunk and tells me he misses me, but never enough to put in the work.

So I stopped.

And when I did, it allowed the guy who wanted to do all those things for me to step up and do them.

He never spoke loudly enough to tell me what he felt, but the guy who wanted me does.

He didn't think of me when Christmas shopping, but the guy who wanted me does.

He didn't come see me late at night when he got off work, but the guy who wanted me does.

He didn't listen to my doubts or fears or hold me when I cried, but the guy who wanted me does.

He didn't tell me he dreamt of me or ask how I slept, but the guy who wanted me does.

He didn't kiss me on the forehead before he went to work and tell me he'd be thinking of me all day, but the guy who wanted me does.

And I want to tell you, to stop waiting for his call, to stop waiting for him to change, stop asking God to make him get his priorities straight, stop asking him to do all the things he should just do with no question, stop asking him if he loves you.

The most beautiful messages have came to me in the forms of "could've" and "should'ves". The come in this isn't what was, but look at what is.

They come in forms of God's plans being much greater than my own. They come in form of happily ever afters I never could've written on my own. They come in the form of words to beautiful for a novel.They come in love that hid behind closed doors for two years waiting for you to realize you belonged with them the whole time, you had to learn some things along the way. They come in tickles under the covers and kisses that taste like coffee and cigarettes, they come in the form of "I bet you didn't see this coming."

I haven't given advice or told a story in awhile because I was busy making mistakes. Stop waiting for the guy who goes days without talking to you, who gives other girls attention, who treats everyone warmly except for you, stop waiting for the person who tells you everything that's wrong with you to realize what they lost, they won't.

Because the man who wants you, will treasure you like the gem that you are. You will not go to sleep wondering what you mean to this person, you will not spend days not speaking. You will not spend holidays alone. You will not have to decode or piece together the puzzle left for you, they will fully and blatantly show and tell you how they feel to the fullest extent.

I spent nights asking God, that if this man loved me why he didn't show me. Why his actions didn't match his words, why he couldn't be the emotional piece for me that I was for him. I questioned him, I challenged him, and when he showed me one thing I went out on my own and decided that I knew better. I caved, I caved a lot.

When I finally listened to the signs that were left for me, I was brought to someone who treasured all the things about me that he never did. I was brought to a man who thought I lit up the night sky. I was brought to a man who spent his days showing me he cared, because he wanted to.

And we wonder why they couldn't have done this or that, why it was so hard for them to treat us the way we deserve.

You'll spend awhile fighting it because you swear they love you, you swear that drunk text means you're meant to be together, and you swear he'll change.

Stop fighting it.

You will be brought to a man who awakens every part of your soul. Who believes in you. Who thinks you're the most beautiful woman he's ever seen. You'll be bright to a man who doesn't question your ability to make your dreams come true. You'll be brought to a man who doesn't make you cry, who shows you everyday that you chose the right one.

I prayed last night and in that prayer, God showed me, the one he chose for me, was there all along.

The man you are wishing will do all the things for you that you want him to, he may never do that.

But I want to tell you, not to worry about it, because the guy who wants you will.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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I'd Rather Be Single Than Settle – Here Is Why Being Picky Is Okay

They're on their best behavior when you're dating.
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Dating nowadays described in one word: annoying.

What's even more annoying? when people tell you that you're being too "picky" when it comes to dating. Yes, from an outside perspective sometimes that's exactly what it looks like; however, when looking at it from my perspective it all makes sense.

I've heard it all:

"He was cute, why didn't you like him?"

"You didn't even give him a chance!"

"You pay too much attention to the little things!"

What people don't understand is that it's OKAY to be picky when it comes to guys. For some reason, girls in college freak out and think they're supposed to have a boyfriend by now, be engaged by the time they graduate, etc. It's all a little ridiculous.

However, I refuse to put myself on a time table such as this due to the fact that these girls who feel this way are left with no choice but to overlook the things in guys that they shouldn't be overlooking, they're settling and this is something that I refuse to do.

So this leaves the big question: What am I waiting for?

Well, I'm waiting for a guy who...

1. Wants to know my friends.

Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how lucky I am to have the friends that I do.

I want a guy who can hang out with my friends. If a guy makes an effort to impress your friends then that says a lot about him and how he feels about you. This not only shows that he cares about you but he cares about the people in your life as well.

Someone should be happy to see you happy and your friends contribute to that happiness, therefore, they should be nothing more than supportive and caring towards you and your friendships.

2. Actually, cares to get to know me.

Although this is a very broad statement, this is the most important one. A guy should want to know all about you. He should want to know your favorite movie, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite Netflix series, etc. Often, (the guys I get stuck on dates with) love to talk about themselves: they would rather tell you about what workout they did yesterday, what their job is, and what they like to do rather than get to know you.

This is something easy to spot on the first date, so although they may be "cute," you should probably drop them if you leave your date and can recite everything about their life since the day they were born, yet they didn't catch what your last name was.

3. How they talk about other women.

It does not matter who they're talking about, if they call their ex-girlfriend crazy we all know she probably isn't and if she is it's probably their fault.

If they talk bad about their mom, let's be honest, if they're disrespecting their mother they're not going to respect you either. If they mention a girl's physical appearances when describing them. For example, "yeah, I think our waitress is that blonde chick with the big boobs"

Well if that doesn't hint they're a complete f* boy then I don't know what else to tell you. And most importantly calling other women "bitches" that's just disrespectful.

Needless to say, if his conversations are similar to ones you'd hear in a frat house, ditch him.

4. Phone etiquette.

If he can't put his phone down long enough to take you to dinner then he doesn't deserve for you to be sitting across from him.

If a guy is serious about you he's going to give you his undivided attention and he's going to do whatever it takes to impress you and checking Snapchat on a date is not impressive. Also, notice if his phone is facedown, then there's most likely a reason for it.

He doesn't trust who or what could pop up on there and he clearly doesn't want you seeing. Although I'm not particularly interested in what's popping up on their phones, putting them face down says more about the guy than you think it does.

To reiterate, it's okay to be picky ladies, you're young, there's no rush.

Remember these tips next time you're on a date or seeing someone, and keep in mind: they're on their best behavior when you're dating. Then ask yourself, what will they be like when they're comfortable? Years down the road? Is this what I really want? If you ask yourself these questions you might be down the same road I have stumbled upon, being too picky.. and that's better than settling.

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5 Reasons Why I Don't Want Kids

Procreating. It's not for everyone.

dambro64
dambro64
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My cousin had a baby last August. She's absolutely beautiful and I love her to death, but she doesn't change my mind when it comes to wanting kids when I'm older. Truth is, I don't want kids. I'm sure everyone says this at some point in their life, and maybe I will change my mind in the future, but kids kind of freak me out.

Maybe I'm just not the most maternal person, but here's why having kids, at least for now, isn't on my bucket list.

1. Giving birth.

I know, I know, it's a beautiful thing, the miracle of life or whatever, but go watch a birthing video and then come tell me how beautiful it really is. Everything from a woman's water breaking, to actually giving birth just grosses me out, to be honest.

The thought of having to push something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon is just absolutely terrifying. I have a pretty average to above average pain tolerance, but no matter how well you can deal with pain, that shit is obviously not a pleasant experience.

2. The responsibility.

You have to do everything for babies, literally everything. Feed it, dress it, wash it, change it, put it to sleep, and you have to know what a baby wants when it wants it. If I had a baby and it started to cry, I would have no idea what to do. I know plenty of people say that once you have the baby, you automatically know which type of crying is for what need, but that makes no sense to me.

Do babies have different types of cries? How do you know which is which?

I consider myself a pretty responsible person when it comes time to be accountable for myself, but to be accountable for another life form?

I'll put it this way. I have two pet turtles. We got them when I was about twelve or so years old, and I remember being obsessed with them. That lasted for like maybe two weeks, and then I got bored with them, which meant I didn't take care of them. My parents did. Not the best analogy for obvious reasons, but I'm sure you understand what I'm trying to say. In other words, if I can barely take care of a pet, how would I ever be able to take care of a small human?

3. Kids are messy and loud.

Look, I'm not like a total clean freak or anything like that, but my mother definitely is. She used to disinfect sticks so my sister and I could roast marshmallows when we went camping for Girl Scouts. My point is, it's been drilled into my brain that everything has to be wiped down clean, and germs are not my friends.

I hate being around sick people; they freak me out, especially since I get sick so easily. If my baby or child were to get sick, I'd obviously still have to take care of it, which means wiping snot, cleaning vomit, and getting coughed on. I guarantee you, as soon as my child were to get better, I'd get sick.

Don't even get me started on changing dirty diapers.

Also, if there's anything I've learned from my cousin's baby thus far, it's that babies put everything in their mouths. Any object on the ground, their hands, and feet; nothing is safe. Babies don't understand sanitation, so it's not their fault, but I just know that if I had a kid, it would be in a plastic bubble so it could remain as clean as possible.

Babies are also very loud. Back when I worked at a diner, we used to have customers with little kids and babies all the time. If the kid was unhappy for any reason, that child would scream its head off. I never understood how such a big noise could come from such a small human.

4. Kids are expensive AF.

Kids are not cheap. They have an entire laundry list of stuff that needs to be bought for them, and they run out of supplies frequently. I can't imagine how much money people spend on things like diapers, formula, and clothes. Speaking of clothes, babies grow out things quickly. You get one or two good uses of an outfit and that's it. They outgrow it, and they can no longer use it.

Then, as they get older, you've got to think about school, eventually college, and extracurricular activities that they want to do, gifts for Christmas and other holidays. I say all of this, realizing how much my own parents have spent on me and my siblings (thanks, Mom and Dad).

5. Raising kids looks hard.

Knowing how much my sisters and I were pains in the asses for my parents, I can't imagine having to deal with that crap myself. The whole idea of shaping a child into a fully functioning member of society with good morals and conscience sounds like a lot of work.

There have been so many times where I would be at work and I'd have to deal with customers that have their kids with them, and these children are the biggest brats I've ever seen. Rude, disrespectful, obnoxious or disruptive; just the opposite of how kids should act in any public setting.

A big part of the reason I wouldn't want kids is that I see other people's kids and the way they act. It makes me just want to yell at the parents. At least I know that if I do ever decide to have kids, they'll be raised the way I want them to be and they'll behave the way they're supposed to. Appropriately.

In the big picture of things, whether or not you want kids is up to you. It's not meant for everyone and that's not the end of the world. I always get told that I don't mean it when I say I don't want kids, which isn't that big of a deal, but it can get annoying. In my opinion, if a person says they don't want kids, it's not because they think kids are like some evil being or anything like that. It's because they know their limits.

Growing a family is an amazing thing, but it's also different for everyone. No one should be judged for not liking or wanting to have kids. Everyone has different opinions. This one is just mine.

dambro64
dambro64

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