I’ve never been one to put myself in risky situations, especially those that could hinder relationships with others. One of my biggest fears happens to be saying the wrong thing, something weird that could unintentionally push others away from me. My fear of poor word choice, or simply poor delivery of anything I want to get across, has limited my ability to fully express my thoughts and feelings.

For the past two years, I’ve found myself in a situation that challenged my fear. One that would require me to gather up courage and take a huge risk, or to simply let it go and never have an outcome. After a long time spent analyzing my dilemma, I knew it was impossible for me to drop it without giving any explanation. It was time to finally break out of my comfort zone and see what could possibly occur as a result.

I had a high school crush, as I’m sure many others did as well. As cheesy as it may sound, he was different than other crushes I’ve had. For once, I gravitated towards someone with beauty both inside and out, not far removed from perfection in my mind. Now, I realize not even he could be considered perfect, nor could anyone. All of that aside, he was someone I greatly admired, loved, and looked up to. He didn’t know this, but I wanted him to more than ever.

As I mentioned before, it’s hard for me to completely show and express my thoughts in words, as I never really know exactly what to say to get my point across. With crushes or anyone I find seemingly attractive, I think of that fear ten times more. I made several attempts to speak to this boy, getting tongue tied each time, which I still cringe looking back on. It was clearly going nowhere, and I knew he was confused by my presence, maybe even slightly scared.

With two years of awkward glances and muffled "hello’s", I knew I had to take action. Talking clearly wouldn’t help me here, so what else was left? As a budding writer, I knew I was able to thoroughly write out my emotions, observations, and feelings in great detail. Call me old-fashioned, but I wrote a letter. Clearly, it's my method of communication with boys if you’ve seen my open letter. It's an in-depth letter telling him everything I needed him to know about the past couple years. Or, if you want the shorter version: “I like you”.

A week after graduation, he responded, not with a short text but by mailing me an entire letter himself. I was shocked and nearly cried while I read it. I immediately made sure that he knew I read it, and I realized how important it was hearing from him and seeing his point of view. He was incredibly flattered that I took the time to write to him, and treated the whole situation with ease. That was something I certainly didn’t expect. We ended up speaking in person later that summer. It was the first face-to-face conversation we ever had. I was able to learn more about him, as he was with me. My thoughts and dreams finally came true this year.

Whether you find yourself in a situation similar to mine, or one that's completely opposite, I encourage you to take the risk. You may never know the outcome; and when thinking of the negative, you may find yourself dealing with a positive outcome. Always go for it. If it doesn't turn out the way you expected, so be it. You can go on knowing you had the courage to try.