To the four girls I know will always be there some how,

We've been in college for a bit now, and since I've been going through all my things while packing up my room, I've realized somethings about us. They say that you meet you're life long friends in college, and while I know some of those girls will definitely be by my side for a long time, I also know that, no matter where we go, you all will be there with me too. Sure, we don't talk everyday anymore, and our lives have all taken very different directions, but when we're together, it's like we never left.

Like when Kristen and I talk on the phone every couple of months, it doesn't feel like she's moved to another state. It feels like I should be telling her to hang up and walk to the side yard so we can see each other. It feels the same as when she lived next door to me for 15 years. That's why I can't go into that house anymore either. I know it's not right. There's no red walls in the living room, the bonus room won't have that small gray recliner in front of the old TV. There won't be the joy of having her mom come home, and helping bring in the groceries right before dinner. And while I know this all won't be there, I feel like it is when I'm talking with all of you.

It feels like nothings changed when everyone goes over to someone's house. Like Hannah's for some random sleepover, or BriAnna's house last summer, or Eve's for New Years. Water balloon fights with pizza and video games after. Battles with those foam things meant to be used to practice martial arts. Movies and sugar highs, realizing that our parent's would be over to get us before we'd be awake. Going to conventions and seeing everyone light up at so many different things. When we're together, it's all the same.

Like Kristen and I just moved in next to each other and decided we were best friends. Like Hannah and I just finished watching Rainbow Fish on our last day of Kindergarten, thinking we would never see each other again, but finding out not only were we moving schools together, but also lived down the street from each other. Like BriAnna and I just visited Reed's Gold mine and my dad made us pose for that photo that made it in the smallest yearbook UA's ever had. Like BriAnna, Kristen, Hannah and I just got to girl scouts and I was so happy my friends from school were getting along with my friends from home. Like Kristen finally got into our school and we all came together as one group. Like it was only last year that Eve completed our group, joining us to complete the five points on our shining star.

At the end of Senior year, you all pointed out how much I helped you and put us all together. But I've realized I never told you all how you helped me. For the other people who might be reading this, in middle school I was around some toxic people and situations and didn't realize I needed help. I pushed away from my core group, and honestly I remember saying some pretty irrational and hurtful things. I pushed away these incredible people, mostly because I was angry at who I was and how they reminded me of what I'd become. While they held me to the standards of someone who leads, I chose to follow. It's taken me a long time to admit that I'm not proud of who I was, but I do now. And what I have to say to all four of you is I'm sorry, and to ask you why? You all stuck around even when I didn't know if I'd come back. You held your claim as my friends and waited while growing yourselves. All of you became so strong on your own. Yet, when I came back, probably crawling although I don't remember, you showed me my place was always there. I can't tell you how grateful I am for every single one of you, and for the fact that we will always stay the same.

No matter where we go, what ever high ranking scientists, generals or fantastic artists we become, I know that when we pick up that phone or meet at the Dollar Cone, it'll be like it's only been a few days. One vacation with thousands of memories to share, but the time to us will only ever start when we're together.

So I guess this is a thank you to my trusted Advisers. I hope we always have each other's support as our plans move into action. I love you all.

The girl who will always owe you