To The Girl Who Skipped The Party Stage, And The Girl Who Didn't

To The Girl Who Skipped The Party Stage, And The Girl Who Didn't

You're both missing the point.
2727
views

To the girl who skipped the party stage and the girl who didn't:

I wanna tell you a story because I think we've created these labels and categories and somehow shoved ourselves and others into them based on our behavior and social choices.

And that's cool, but it's not helping anyone.


Follow Jordan on her blog, Soul Scripts.


When I was in college, I fit into both these categories at one point. For a few months, I tried living both simultaneously if you can imagine it. My freshman year, I danced on table tops, laughed til 3 a.m. with girls I hardly knew, ordered pizza at 4 a.m., and woke up the next day trying to piece together the night. At times, I drank so much that I wanted nothing more than to hide my face, crawl under a rock, and pay rent to the rock troll until the end of the century.

Maybe you've been there, maybe not.

Then I realized I wanted to pull my life together and be known as a good girl but couldn't quite figure out how to do that. I wanted something more than hangovers but couldn't shake the FOMO. Several times, I lied to cover my own butt and then had to bashfully admit to it later. I went to frat parties, danced with random boys, stumbled home, and then tried to protect my reputation as the girl who could hold it all together.

I lived a double life for several months because I wanted to make everybody happy.

Actually, one time, I decided that it was better to drink too much wine than too much hard liquor and I settled for that life... because I wanted people to like me but I didn't wanna be ratchet. So there's that.

Ugh. Isn't it crazy what we do to look one way but live another? But you know when and how I experienced freedom from that double life? I opened up about it. I called out the little monster for what it was. Then I tried to deny it again...but then I finally let myself just sit in it.

No, I didn't fix anything in 30 seconds. Actually, I didn't believe I needed "fixing" but instead that I needed faith in who I was designed to be. Slowly, I felt an earth-shattering shift in my desires because, hi, Jesus.

And when I eventually lost the desire to party altogether, I was not any more qualified or better than the girl who didn't.


Find Jordan on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.


So if you're the party girl, I'm not here to tell you to clean up your life. I am here to tell you to let your little monsters out of the dark corner and into the Light. Look deeper. Why do you party? Because it brings you complete and total fulfillment? Or because the world around you says you should and presents it as the only good option?

And if you're not the party girl, I'm not here to tell you you've made it, either. You might have little ugly monsters hiding in your heart, too. None of us are better than the other. You may be better off without the toxins your bodies and the pressure partying puts on your heart, but never better than. I challenge you, too. Why are you not partying? Is it to uphold an image or reputation? Or because you've genuinely found freedom from the peer pressure and placed your identity in something more?

You see, whether you're the fun and flirty girl dancing on tabletops or the lonely girl feeling like the biggest loser alone on Friday night, freedom is for you, too. And there's always more to the story because you weren't made to fit into a category just because college says the only two options are to:

1. Party.

2. Not party.

I'd like to argue there's a better party than the pity party and the frat party. And you're invited to it regardless of your past or present party status. It's a party that peels off the sticky labels the world has slapped on you. It's a party that switches your entire position and identity from death to life, dark to light, and pride to purpose. It's a party orchestrated by the Creator Himself simply because He loves you when you're a hot mess and when you're all primped and poised.

And maybe you just need to RSVP to that party.

So put on your big girl pants and your party hat, crack open a window, pull that dang door open, let light the Light in, and step into who you were made to be -- even if you're shaking with wobbly knees.

It's worth it. Cross my heart.

For more, follow Jordan on her blog, Facebook, and Instagram.

Popular Right Now

100 Ways To Practice Self-Care In Your Everyday Life, In 20 Minutes Or Less

Simple ways to start taking care of yourself.

37520
views

Life is overwhelming and distracting so it's easy to forget about yourself sometimes, but practicing small self-care acts is easy. Making time for yourself every day isn't selfish and is really good for your mental health. I think it's important for everyone to spend time doing things that make them happy and more calm, even if you only dedicate 20 minutes each day. Putting yourself first can lead to growth so many other aspects of your life.

Obviously, each person is allowed to practice self-care in their own unique way, but here are some ideas to get you started!

1. Do something new. 

2. Make a list of things you need to get done that week. 

3. Drink some hot tea. 

4. Go for a walk on a scenic trail.

5. Paint your nails.

6. Have a good laugh.

7. Buy yourself flowers.

8. Light a candle.

9. Do some tidying up.

10. Don't feel bad for saying 'no.'

11. Listen to music.

12. Slow down.

13. Drink a smoothie.

14. Run mindless errands.

15. Write down your goals for the week.

16. Talk to someone about the future.

17. Wake up early and get coffee. 

18. Take care of a plant. 

19. Take a bubble bath. 

20. Give yourself a compliment.

21. Give a stranger a compliment.

22. Watch a movie.

23. Put your phone down.

24. Declutter your personal space.

25. Go to bed early. 

26. Pray or meditate. 

27. Go for a drive. 

28. Make it a habit to stargaze. 

29. Read a book. 

30. Read poems. 

31. Sing loudly. 

32. Make a list of things you're grateful for. 

33. Drink a lot of water. 

34. Put on make-up for no reason.

35. Watch funny videos. 

36. Take a deep breath. 

37. Distance yourself from negativity. 

38. Unfollow people you don't care to follow on social media. 

39. Have a pajama day. 

40. Read an inspirational book. 

41. Call your parents/ loved ones. 

42. Donate old clothing. 

43. Dedicate a day out of the week to not eating meat. 

44. Do a fun craft or DIY project. 

45. Put on a face mask and relax. 

46. Do a small workout. 

47. Take a power nap. 

48. Listen to a podcast. 

49. Open a window. 

50. Open your curtains in the morning to let in natural light. 

51. Make your bed. 

52. Cook dinner instead of eating out. 

53. Play/ cuddle with an animal. 

54. At the end of the day, think of all the positive things that happened.

55. Moisturize. 

56. Buy a comforting blanket. 

57. Give someone a hug. 

58. Create a vision board. 

59. Have some alone time.

60. Enjoy the sun on your skin. 

61. Dance like nobody is watching.

62. Walk in the rain every once in a while. 

63. Drive with the windows down. 

64. Give someone a gift for no reason. 

65. Get a massage. 

66. Do something that gets your adrenaline running. 

67. Spend the day at the library or a book store. 

68. Organize your work space/ binders. 

69. Spend a weekend in. 

70. Recognize hard work and reward yourself. 

71. Sign up for a work out class. 

72. Eat lunch with a friend. 

73. Spend the day helping others. 

74. Get your hair done. 

75. Have a good cry. 

76. Use sticky notes. 

77. Color code your planner. 

78. Print out pictures and hang them up. 

79. Hang motivational quotes on your mirror and read them when you get ready. 

80. Do random acts of kindness. 

81. Buy fuzzy socks. 

82. Redecorate or rearrange furniture. 

83. Be present. 

84. Set a new years resolution. 

85. Make a bucket list. 

86. Stretch in the morning. 

87. Watch an interesting documentary. 

88. Make a music playlist.

89. Watch the sunrise or sunset. 

90. Explore somewhere new.

91. Be slow to respond to negativity. 

92. Have a game night with friends. 

93. Buy concert tickets. 

94. Have a nightly routine before bed. 

95. Eat your favorite dessert. 

96. Do something you've been putting off. 

97. Invest in essential oils. 

98. Manage your finances. 

99. Buy a new outfit. 

100. Make your own gratitude list. 

Try at least one of these every week and see how you feel! I guarantee you will notice a difference in the way you are living your life.

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

17 Kristen Bell GIFs That Describe Your Life As A Single College Girl

Here's to being happy and single until our "Dax" comes along.

247
views

Being single can be a bittersweet experience, as we all know. Although Kristen Bell is happily married to Dax Shepherd, here is a compilation of Kristen Bell GIFs that is relatable to any girl who has experienced being single at some point in their college career.

1. When you're single and nothing is going right.

Giphy

Kristen Bell hit the nail on the head with this one. Most of the time, when we go through a bad breakup or find out you just bombed a test, we drink, but there's a catch that comes with drinking your problems away. When you go to a bar and see a girl crying in the bathroom and you're both a little tipsy you tend to have a quick therapy sesh. You try to boost her up and make her feel fierce and independent

2. When a guy is flirting with you and asks "How on earth are you still single?"

Giphy

You always have someone ask how you're still single

3. When you're single and you take lots of selfies, people tend to think you're a narcissist.

Giphy

Hey, if me taking selfies makes me a narcissist then isn't, almost, everyone a narcissist?

4. When guys tell you that "you're the only girl" they talk to and you know for a fact that's not true.

Giphy

We live in a world, in which, a hookup culture is a norm and not many college guys want a "relationship" with just one girl, but boy, will they tell you anything to make you believe you're the only girl that they're talking to. Be like Kristen Bell, don't be an idiot.

5. When your ex tries to come back into your life.

Giphy

We have all had that one ex that has tried to nestle his way back into you're life, but as Kristen Bell said, this is not TV.

6. Why some girls decide to stay single.

Giphy

I see where Kristen Bell is coming from here, I got hurt once and it was not fun! This is to the girls that have been hurt one too many times...Don't give up, just live your best single life and stay away from the "fuckboys"

7. When you're about to go out and you have to give yourself that one last wink.

Kristen Bell Yes GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY Giphy

Self-confidence is key, love yourself and the rest will come! Also, it's nice to dress up and go out, so live it up while you're single.

8. When you're out minding your own business and a creepy guy hits on you.

Giphy

When you're out having fun with your girls and living your best single life, there's always that one guy that has to ruin it and hit on you.

9. When a guy tries to use a pick up line to make a pass at you.

Giphy

When you're out minding your own business and a guy comes up to you with a pick up line and you brush him off and he takes it as you not "picking up, what he was laying down" so he just comes out and and says what he means

10. When you're single and you can't even like a picture that a guy posts without getting a DM right away.

Giphy

This is a big one ladies, am I right or is there just some secret rule that I don't know about? I can't even scroll through my Instagram feed and like a picture of a dog or a beach without that being taken as "I'm into you" or "I want to sleep with you".

11. When you're single and on you're on your millionth bad date.

Giphy

We've all been on a bad date or two whether it be with a mutual friend, some guy from tinder, or bumble, but it's happened, oh boy, has it happened...and it's enough to ruin dating forever. Might as well go to the animal shelter and get a few cats now.

12. When you're single and the guys that try talking to you are not working out. 

Giphy

When you decide to ghost all guys who try talking to you because none of them are worth your time and they don't understand when you tell them you aren't interested

13. When you're single and the only guys that are interested in you are guys you aren't interested in.

Giphy

It never fails, this is how it is ladies, now, why is that? Don't give up, keep living that fabulous single life and don't stop until someone sweeps you off your feet.

14. When you decide you'd rather be single because all college guys are dense. 

Giphy

Well, hopefully when they become men, it'll be better, but until then let's just have some fun and don't hold your breath.

15. When you thought there wasn't anymore decent available guys left in the world and a decent guy waltz into your life.

Giphy

Although they're hard to come by, decent guys do exist, but like I said they're rare, so proceed with caution.

16. When you go on a date with a decent guy, you're actually into him, AND it was a really good date.

Giphy

Is it a dream or reality? It's a miracle if this happens and it may take some time to wrap your head around.

17. When you're leaving the date with a decent guy trying to convince him that you're the best.

Giphy

That date that went well with the decent guy that you like is over, but before y'all part ways you want to leave one last good impression so that he will text you later that night wanting to see you again.

Related Content

Facebook Comments