From The Girl Who Skipped The Party Stage

From The Girl Who Skipped The Party Stage

Sorry, I am really not sorry that I'm skipping the party.
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What's so wrong with skipping the party stage?

I can't count how many times I've been told I am missing out on the "best years of my life" because I'm not participating in stereotypical college party-girl behavior. I have even been told that I'll have a mid-life crisis because I am skipping this apparently crucial stage of life. Really? A freaking mid-life crisis? Because I'm skipping out on hooking up with strangers and being belligerently drunk every weekend?

Naturally, as a 19-year-old college student, my favorite pastime should be getting intoxicated. For some odd reason, though, I find it hard to believe that the best years of my life are supposed to be filled with moments that I won't remember.

Because my priorities lay in a different place than the stereotypical college kid doesn't by any means indicate that I am uptight, boring or a prude. Believe it or not, I get high on life just as much as you do on booze and weed.

Spending my time reading a good book with my morning coffee definitely tops a nasty hangover. Cuddling with my boyfriend of two years undoubtedly makes me happier than any one-night-stand ever could.

A successful girls' night for me is filled with hours of "Grey's Anatomy," ridiculous singing to Taylor Swift, and one-too-many slices of pizza — not dancing with girls that I barely know at a frat party.

Sorry, but if you're looking for someone to black out with and compliment your dress that is just too tight, I am not your girl. Want to have an actual discussion? Want to go to dinner, maybe even take a road trip? I am totes down for that.

When I look back on the best years of my life, I want my mind to be filled with memories that will bring a smile to my face — not a cringe.

Sorry, I am really not sorry that I'm skipping the party.


Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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20 Important Reminders For All You Girls About To Turn 21

The early twenties can be an extremely stressful time for women.
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I have come to find that the years of my early twenties have been among some of the best years of my life.

Moving away to college, going to concerts and bars with my friends, wild frat parties, beach days, becoming a college cheerleader, getting my first real job as a personal trainer (offering potential for a career).

While these have been some of the most fun and exciting years of my life they have also been some of the most stressful. Pulling multiple all nighters in a row, and still getting a D on an exam, constantly taking two steps forward and three steps back, feeling a want to be independent, and the struggle it takes to get there, quitting cheerleading, anxiety about my post college plans, and fading in and out of friendships and relationships.

The early twenties can be an extremely stressful time for women. Women are two times as likely to suffer from depression or an anxiety disorder than men. Additionally, research shows that depressive disorder may be appearing earlier in life in people born in recent decades compared to the past.

I've compiled a list of things for all girls in theirs twenties to remind themselves.

1. No one knows what they're doing and if they say they do, they're lying.

So many women compare themselves to others, when in reality, you can't actually know what anyone is thinking, or more so what actually goes on in their life. So stop worrying about feeling like a hot mess comparing yourself to the girl who seems to have it all together.

2. Every minute you spend thinking about someone else is a minute you lose to spend working on yourself.

Facebook and Instagram stalking your ex-boyfriend or ex-best friend is pointless, especially if they're no longer in your life. Focus on yourself and the people you currently have around you supporting you.

3. You don't need to find your "future husband" right now.

You have plenty of time to find someone to spend the rest of your life with, which is a long time. Your life timeline is longer than you think, and looking for someone rather than looking for the right someone can be the difference between a happy marriage or a divorce.

4. Don't think of relationships as, "if we're not getting married we're eventually gonna break up."

Be thankful for the time you spent with or have to spend with that person. Cherish those memories while they last even if they may eventually come to an end. Remember, "when one door closes another one opens."

5. Do the things you love, break the rules.

Don't settle for a job you hate just because it makes you a lot of money. At the very least, continue to do the things you love on the side; painting, singing, dancing, football, whatever it may be.

Keep doing the things you love. It will be your saving grace and will keep you sane.

Don't be afraid to be who you are and break free from societal roles, it's OK to be different, the most successful people don't care what other people think and aren't afraid to be themselves and stand out from the rest of the world.

6. You need and deserve a break.

Work hard but don't burn yourself out. It's easy to get caught up in your daily grind, but take the time to do things that relax you, or go out with your friend.

Remember, you're twenty-something, not forty-something.

You're not tied down. Now is the time to have fun, make mistakes, and be reckless once in a while.

7. Put the time in.

With whatever you wish to achieve, put the time in don't expect life to give you handouts. Don't quit when it gets tough or you think you won't make it. If you put the time in and get what you want to do done, you will be successful in life.

8. Relationships are the hardest part of life, don't dwell on them.

Relationships whether its family, friends or a romantic partner, relationships are the hardest part of life. Just be attentive, listen to other people and hear them out.

Use your intuition and leave behind the relationships that are negative. Being nostalgic never helps, if you don't let people go you'll never be happy with your current life.

9. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

If the first two times you try something it doesn't work out, take a different approach. Trying to get something done the same way and failing each time means you're doing something wrong.

You'll ultimately just pick up learned helplessness. It's not that you're incompetent, you just need to take a different approach.

10. You most likely won't marry your first love.

This is generally the case, and it's OK. Sure, being "high school sweethearts" sounds all nice and mushy, like the perfect fairytale, and for some people, this is the case.

But it's good to experience different people. If I never had breakups I would have never found out what it felt like to be treated well.

11. You're not 16 anymore. Don't expect your body to look like you are.

You're no longer a teenager, your body is different, your hormone release is different, don't expect an effortlessly flat stomach, thigh gap, and size zero.

It's not gonna happen.

Your bones are bigger and your structure is wider and it gets more difficult to stay in shape as you get older. Focus on being healthy, not a size zero.

12. People who want you in their life will be in your life.

Don't waste your time on people who don't care, or constantly blow you off, put you down or hurt you. You don't deserve it, and neither does anyone else. If they don't make you a better person, if they don't make you happier, let them go.

13. If someone tells you "you can't" show them that "you did."

Don't let anyone interfere with your dreams, they're your dreams to achieve, and if you want something, and you put in the work it takes you will get it!

14. Someone will always have more.

There will always be a girl who's prettier, smarter, funnier, skinnier, richer, more athletic. Base your success off of how much progress you have made, not by comparing yourself to someone else.

15. Things are just things.

Things do not equal happiness. Experiences and successes do! Sure that new Triangl bikini is nice, and you deserve to treat yourself to tangible items, but at the end of the day, they are just things.

16. People change, and so will you.

Your life changes dramatically year to year, especially during your early twenties, a time of many new beginnings and opportunities. Things are inconsistent, and people change and move away. Don't let this upset you, and don't base your happiness on other people.

They're just people after all, and they make mistakes. People can't always be reliable.

17. Take it one step at a time.

I like to look at my life like driving at night. Your headlights can only light up a small portion of the road ahead of you. You can let what you can't see coming scare you, or you can follow the road as you see it and worry about the obstacles when they come into view.

This is something I try to focus on when I have anxiety.

18. It's OK to be selfish.

To an extent, yes. Sometimes I have a problem with putting others before myself, and yes this is a good thing in moderation. You need to be well for yourself in order to help others.

19. Follow your intuition.

Your gut feeling is more accurate than you think. If you have a good feeling about something, take a chance on it. Failure is better than wondering if you would have succeeded.

20. You will figure it out.

I know it's a time of so many uncertainties and financial instability, but just keep treading water and you'll eventually make it to shore.

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr.com

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Forgiveness: Sometimes It May Be The Hardest Thing To Do

People get hurt, you are hurt by people, things happen, life happens.

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Whether you are forgiving someone else, yourself, or something that has happened to you, it may be challenging. It is normal to feel a pool of emotions bottling up before you are fully ready to start this process. This process can be hurtful, soothing, strange, and relieving all at the same time.

Forgiveness.

I hear the word ringing in my ears. I hear the word, but I cannot feel it. I hear the word, but I cannot do it. I hear the word, but I do not know what to respond at the moment.

I stare far down the road, searching for it. But, one day, it all just falls into place.

The weight is lifted off your shoulders. The queasiness inside your stomach is gone. The emptiness is full. And the thought is gone.

Far, far away, forgiveness has gone away.

Everyone has different experiences throughout their lifetime. Everyone has different people they need to forgive. Everyone has different reasons they may need to forgive themselves. But within these differences lies the same truth. Forgiveness is tough at times. It can be a challenge.

Big or small, long or short, it can bring different challenges. However, one thing remains—that relief when you forgive.

Teenage years do not prepare us for forgiveness at a young age. Time passes by, we are in high school and times change. People get hurt, you are hurt by people, things happen, life happens.

That word that felt so long down the road is finally at your feet.

Forgive: To give up resentment of or claim to requital.

The definition does not explain the ins and outs to this word. The definition does not tell you about the challenges. The definition does not show you the emotions that come with it.

The definition paints the objective to the word.

Before reaching the ending point, you may cry a lot of tears. You may experience a lot of anger. You may feel like crawling into a ball of sorrow. You may need some time. Trust me, this is OK.

Wipe those tears.

Do something you enjoy to get rid of the anger.

Crawl in that ball of sorrow.

Take all the time you need.

You will feel forgiveness when the time is right for you. Some things hurt more than others, some people hurt you more than others, you may hurt someone more than you think, but hey, you will get there.

Learning to forgive is like figuring out the combination code to your heart and mind. Sometimes, we as human beings cannot forget certain things or certain people. We cannot forget the pain that it once had on our souls. But what we can do is ease our minds by forgiving but never forgetting.

As Gandhi would say, "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

Time after time, I found myself waiting for the perfect moment to forgive. Wondering why I couldn't forgive when I wanted to. But when I looked deeper into everything, I realized it was a process.

The long road that leads to one endpoint. And that endpoint is forgiveness.

Please stroll down that road, no matter how long it takes. I promise you will get there.

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