Being replaced is easily one of the strangest things to experience. Mainly because, it’s like looking at yourself from the outside. It’s like being on the other side of a sound proof wall, where you can’t be seen or heard anymore.
I remember how we used to be just like it was yesterday. We were each others #1 exception to the rule of “don’t tell anyone.” We were the first person that each other thought of to tell if anything happened in our lives... from something huge, to literally any little irrelevant detail. We may not have said it a lot, but we knew deep down that we were each other’s best friend. This is not to say that we didn’t have other friends, because we did. But we never had to worry who was the nearest and dearest to our heart. Inevitably, it was each other. And then, things started to change…
At first, it feels like it happens over night. But eventually, you look back and realize its been happening for a while. It’s a slow transformation… You see each other less, you don’t text the little details anymore. The whole vibe of the friendship changes. She used to just show up at your door no matter what time of day. Now she feels she needs to be invited. Summer comes around and it’s the first one yall haven’t spent tied to each others side for two months straight. Instead, you find that she’s adventuring most of her summer away with the new girl… and loving it. And suddenly the big green monster comes and weighs down on your shoulders when you see the new girl making memories with your best friend. The same kind of memories yall used to make. From jam sessions in the car, to road trips, to becoming apart of the family. That might easily be the worst one. You see the new girl’s mom love her just the way yours used to love her (or try to... idk tho my mom is pretty awesome). You see the new girl’s family take her in and make her one of their own just like yours used to do. And let’s be honest, it stings. It hurts. It may feel like you’re all alone for a while. And honestly, you might be. But … it gets better.
If she was your one true best friend, then you might have to fight it out alone for a while. There will be tears. There will be jealousy. There will be anger. And your heart will be broken into a thousand pieces. But this is where you learn to love yourself when she isn’t there to love you. This is where you pour positive thoughts into your heart when she isn’t there to encourage you. And most importantly, this is where you learn to let go of your huge dependence on this friendship. You grow your own set of wings and you fly.
It may sound weird, but leaving a friendship can be like leaving home. It’s what you’ve known for as long as you can remember. It’s a huge source of your confidence, comfort, security, love. No one wants to let that go. But, this is where you put yourself out there and learn to be that best friend that you’re longing for, to someone else. Be that saving grace that you’ve been awaiting.
After time, you have to face the big f word. (no worries… I’m talking about forgiveness.) You have to forgive your best friend and forgive the new girl too. Even if they don’t ask for it. Hell, especially when they don’t ask for it. You have to show them grace and kindness, because the reality is… the only person who is being affected by your heartbreak, anger, bitterness, jealousy, tears… is you. And you deserve better than that. You’re a better best friend than that. So be there for her. If she comes back around, be there. You don’t have to depend on her the same way you did before. And you don’t have to fully open your heart back up… that’s a precious gift you have to offer. So don’t give it out freely. But, just continue to be the best friend that you wish she still was to you.
And know this. You were good to her. No, you weren’t perfect. You most likely got on her nerves 98% of the time. You might have had some arguments. But at the end of the day, she loved you. This was out of your control, so don’t beat yourself up wondering why you weren’t good enough to hold that position in her life a little longer. Maybe this new girl brings something into her life that you couldn’t give her. Maybe this is just what she needed or wanted right now in her life. And that’s okay, because you will be that for someone else, and someone else will be that for you.
So, keep fighting the good fight and don’t constantly look back. Learn to desire her happiness over yours. Want what’s best for her. Want her to be happy. Love her, even if it’s from a distance. And now, you go be a new girl for the somebody out there that needs one.
Straight from my heart,
the girl who got replaced
