You constantly give and give and give, until there's nothing left. And then you give some more. You never tell people no because you want to be able to do it all. You put your entire heart into everything you do, never holding back anything. This unfortunately ends up breaking your heart more times than you can count. You take things to heart and allow people to get to you. You get told all the time that you're "just too sensitive."
Sound familiar at all?
I know what you're thinking. "It's okay though, I don't mind it." That's a lie. No matter how big your heart is and how compassionate you are, there comes a point where you do mind it. Where getting hurt and feeling like your heart is being ripped out of your chest, is finally enough.
That's where I found myself. Amidst all the tears, heartache, hurt feelings, and an exhausted being; physically, mentally, and spiritually. I was tired. Tired of caring too much. Tired of always ending up hurt. Tired of people taking advantage of me.
That's when I realized I needed to change.
Don't get ahead of yourself, I don't mean change like you think. I don't mean I chose to become a hard-hearted person who didn't care about anyone or anything. I didn't become someone that was shut off to everyone and showed no love. As much as I wanted to just say "Forget it," and become that person, I couldn't. That's not me, and that's not you either.
I changed one thing: I stopped allowing myself to be hurt. I started saying no to people when I knew I couldn't take on any more. I started making time for myself. I started cutting people out of my life, the ones who only hurt me. I started watching out for myself. I started caring about myself.
It doesn't mean you don't still love with all you have. I do, and I always will. Because God gave me a big heart, and I could never get away from that. Having a big heart doesn't mean getting hurt all the time though; that isn't what God intended. Having a big heart doesn't mean loving and giving all you have, and ending up shattered into pieces on the floor.
It means that when people start taking advantage of you and constantly pulling you down and taking all you have, you stop loving them as much. You can still love them, but not as passionately and only from a distance. It means that you can't always say yes to everyone, and that's okay. It means that you will get hurt by people, but you don't have to allow them to constantly hurt you.
I have a big heart and I'll always do anything for the closest people to me that I genuinely love with all I am. But there are times that you have to watch out for yourself first. Take care of yourself and care about yourself. You are so much more precious than you can even begin to comprehend.
As much as you love others, love yourself with that same love. Care about yourself with that same amount of care. Say yes to yourself. Learn from your mistakes, and keep on walking. Find the balance.
You were made for this. You can do hard things.
