To the girl who lost herself, you may have lost your way in school, through your relationship or through the wrong friendships, but regardless of the reasons, you lost yourself along the way. You are no longer the same girl you once were. These events that have occurred have crushed you to where you don't know where to find yourself again.

For me, I lost myself in my relationship. I lost all sight of what life was all about. I lost sight of my friendships and goals. I lost who I wanted to be and who I was without my relationship and I had never been that girl and always preached to others to never be that girl.

To you, whom I was in a relationship with, I can't even call you a man because a man would not have done the things you did to me and continue to do, because the things you do is what a boy does. Sadly, I have allowed myself to get lost in all of it. You have used me in every way you know how, breaking my heart piece by piece each time.

After being with someone for as long as I have, knowing the ins and outs of each other and their lives, why continue to hurt one another and do it intentionally? Why tell me you're going to be there for me when I really need someone if you really aren't going to be? Why am I always the one to be there and reach out to you when you feel alone?

I honestly should know better by now and I do, but somehow you keep sucking me into your little games. Time and time again, after everything that has happened, it somehow doesn't phase me anymore and I think every girl can relate to that, unfortunately. There are no more tears to cry, there are no more arguments to be had because you've had them all.

We may have just been kids that didn't know what they were doing when all this began, but everything is so different now. Everything has changed. We've both hurt each other in ways we never thought we would but it's happened and it's been forgiven. We were supposed to spend the rest of our lives together. Everything was supposed to work out for the two of us.

Yes, I think the things you do are horrible to me and you don't even see the wrong in it. You want everyone to only see the good in you, as if you have no baggage or anything to hide from, and that's okay. But I know you, I know the real you. There is nothing wrong with wanting people to see the good in you and that's why I always fall for these games. I see the best in you, no matter what you have done or will do in the future.

The saddest part about it all is, I can't even truly say it hurts me anymore. After being in abusive relationships and cheated on time and time again, somehow this feels worse to me. But at the same time, it doesn't hurt anymore. I used to feel the physical, emotional, and mental hurt that the ending of the relationship had caused me, but somehow still being together, but not together-together it doesn't phase me like it used to.

I used think we had it all figured out. That I had it all figured out. Anytime I have plans God shows me why he made different ones for me.

Right now, I have learned to be content with how life is. Maybe a relationship just isn't in the cards for me right now and that's okay. Being in my 20's, I somehow always thought when I was little I would've found the love of my life by now, and maybe I have. but it doesn't always make it the easiest. I am not the best with the uncertainty in life, especially not knowing if I'm going to be married or not, or if "the one" is already in my life.

It has almost been a year now and I am still learning to find myself again. I will never tell you life is simple or relationships are easy. They are something you always have to work at, no matter the situation. I made a lot of mistakes along the way after I got my heart broken, but I have learned from them.

I am finding the independent girl that once loved herself and cared about everyone else, as I still do, but sometimes I forgot because I was so hurt and broken-hearted. You have to pick yourself up and know that it is going to be alright.

So to the girl that lost herself through the process of life, know that you are not alone. We all have been through those times at one time or another and it never gets any easier.

Learn to take time to yourself and give yourself a grieving period as needed.

Learn to love yourself first.

Care about those around you and live every day like it's your last. Not everyone is going to be in your life for forever, so cherish the moments you have with every single person and life is precious.