The girl that does not want to fall in love knows what she wants in life. She knows her purpose, but also understand that everybody makes mistakes and that everything no matter if good or bad, it always leaves a lesson. She is able to put yourself in the shoes of other people, to understand, to analyze, to share her knowledge and caring with the rest, but not her heart.
That's what happens to me, 3 years after someone broke my heart like never before and as never again, I'm not the same, I no longer illusion about a relationship, it does not excite me to meet a new guy, or re-connect with an old one, at least not anymore.
I'm at a stage in my life that I enjoy so much being alone, love my nephews, a coffee with my sisters, really, I'm happy when I spend the Sundays alone wearing pajamas, in bed with one of those many films I always wanted to see and that because of lack of time for myself, I never saw. I enjoy my friends, improvised trips and time at the gym, to get pretty for myself and not to please anyone or fit the model of ideal girl for anyone, I enjoy the effort of going early to class.
I want to know more of myself, find my soul. Face my own challenges and do what I like, without asking anyone. I want to smile but by my own means. I want to confront my fears and fight for myself, without anyone interfering or pretending to defend me. I want to be strong, alone.
I'll never leave aside all that passionates me because of a relationship. I'll never leave aside my hobbies, or change my priorities for someone else. I'm not interested in someone else's heart, I prefer to devote myself to heal my own first. The girl that does not want to fall in love wants it all and is determined to get it because she is not afraid of life. She is able to control herself, to accomplish her purposes, be strong, but without going over anyone or take advantage of others.
I know, it sounds selfish. However, that's our problem, since we are kids, we are taught to share, and we forget to think of ourselves first, we leave ourselves aside to please others; I got tired of that, I'm happy now coming to a bar, dancing and when I want to leave, I can just leave because nothing prevents me from doing it. People care so much for the feelings of others that we get lost in space, and we stop knowing who we really are. We give permission to others that we hurt just because we give too much innocently.
