To The Girls Feeling Lonely Or Waiting For Love

To The Girls Feeling Lonely Or Waiting For Love

Life can be lonely -- are you seeking the best or settling for less?

A few weeks ago, my husband and I failed to make reservations at our favorite restaurant. After driving 30 minutes with eager hearts and empty bellies, we nearly sprinted through the doors of the restaurant only to find out there was over an hour wait.

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Although we were irritated, we opted to check out the restaurant across the street.

Epic fail. Forty-five-minute wait there, too.


At this point, I was really annoyed and Matt (my hubs) was growing hangry-er by the minute.

I looked across the room and saw another couple close to our age enjoying a wonderful meal. I instantly grew jealous.

Why can’t we have what they have right now?

We put our names in and stormed off more dramatically than necessary. How dare they not know we were coming?

Okay not really, but we were frustrated. We didn’t want to wait any longer than we planned on. In fact, we were so hungry that we decided to get dessert first. You know, to keep our blood sugar up. We both ordered large waffle cones and gazed at them lovingly as the little blonde ice cream scooper lady handed them to us.

We literally inhaled them in 60 seconds. I even had to wipe drops of ice cream out of Matt’s beard.

As we left the ice cream parlor, we began talking about what we were going to order at dinner. We talked about steak and mashed potatoes and warm soup. And then it dawned on us that the ice cream had helped but it didn't quite do the trick. We were still hungry.

When our table was finally ready, we sat down to enjoy a delicious four-course meal. Our bellies were finally full. I even fell asleep on the way home. That’s when you know it was good.

So what's my point?

Sometimes when we feel sick of waiting on something our hearts long for, such as love or companionship, we turn to ice cream cones. In other words, we begin to settle for whatever’s available rather than waiting for what’s best. It’s as if our tiny beating hearts are so hungry as we wait and wait, as place after place we seek satisfaction from fails, that we settle. Sometimes, it can become far too easy to settle for a man that’s not good for us – just because our hearts need that quick little fix, right?

Isn’t it funny, though, how we still feel hungry, or lonely, or unsatisfied?

Something is still missing – it’s not quite enough.

I know because I’ve done it. And maybe you’re thinking, "Big whoop. She’s married."

Well, yes, but that doesn't just turn off loneliness. I've felt lonely time after time, both in and out of a relationship. I get antsy when Matt doesn't text back. I question if I'm a burden to him. I wonder if he misses me when we're apart. I spend countless hours shuffling through lies in my head telling me I'm not quite missable or noticeable or loveable enough. Just like you do, girlfriend.

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Whether you're single or madly in love, loneliness can happen, because I'm a firm believer that the condition of loneliness has very little to do with a relationship status. It has everything to do with God calling us to be alone with Him.

So if you're feeling lonely and tired of waiting, let me challenge you to look at what you're filling yourself up with. Is it an ice cream cone, or in other words, a romance? OR is it the real meal?

I'd be willing to bet 1,739,498 ice cream cones with sprinkles bet if you stop eating ice cream cones and realize that waiting isn’t necessarily a bad thing, God will satisfy your hunger with His very best – whatever that may be for your life.

It won’t look like a sister’s life, love, or relationship. And we oughtta remember that that’s okay.

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Just Because I Check My Boyfriend's Location Every Hour Doesn't Make Me A 'Psycho Girlfriend'

No, checking his location every hour does not make me psycho.

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a few months now. He has come up with describing my actions sometimes as “psycho girlfriend.” As much as this bothered me at first I started to realize there is nothing wrong with my “psycho” actions.

I don’t monitor who my boyfriend hangs out with and I don’t care who he texts, I trust him, but I do watch other things he does.

I probably check his location about once an hour, maybe more if he isn’t texting me back.

This isn’t some way for me to find out if he is with another girl, it’s so I can ensure he isn’t dead in a ditch somewhere. If he was on Snapchat five minutes ago but hasn’t texted me back in 45 minutes, yeah I’ll call him out on it but I'm not actually mad. If he is with friends and not answering me, it’s cool. I just want to be able to make sure I know where he is and that he is alive on a regular basis.

I make him keep his read receipts on for me.

I don’t care if he leaves me on read, I just need to know he is seeing what I’m saying. Half the time, I text him random facts or thoughts I have throughout my day, those don’t always need a response back. However, I do want to know he is acknowledging me through reading my texts.

Yes, from time to time I will spam him and make him respond to my messages so we can make plans or I can know what he is doing with his day but it’s not like I plan out his every move for him or care if he is getting drunk with the boys on a Wednesday, not my issue.

I don’t ask for all of his time or anything. I know he is a busy person. All I ask for him to text me back on a regular basis (once an hour to be exact), for him to allow for me to know where he is at all times and to get one night a week with him.

I don’t plan to show up where he is or anything, I simply just like to know information and get a weekly time with him. I don’t care if I only see him that one night a week, I just want one night with a movie or dinner or snuggles so I can get my boyfriend time.

The rest of the time he is his own person, and I couldn’t really care less about what he does in that time.

Cover Image Credit: Grace Wilkowski

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The Walls We Build

Sometime we don't realize they're there

All humans have a common ground: the desire to be loved. No one, despite what they might say, wants to be alone. We weren't meant to be, and we shouldn't settle for it. However, there may be reasons why we think or feel that being alone is easier or how we're meant to live.

Companionship is so important, but it can be difficult for some people. I personally feel like I would rather shove a firey hot branding iron down my throat before letting someone know everything about me and be that exposed. It's hard to do, but it is so necessary. We walk around carrying so much with us and knowing we have people to rely on and that we are not alone can make such a difference in our lives and overall happiness. Intimacy and being vulnerable with people is very underrated and sometimes underappreciated.

It's so much easier to put up walls between us and the people around us. Using humor as a defense mechanism, shying away from physical contact, and even just staying quiet in hopes of not being seen are all ways we avoid making connections with others. They're our fallbacks, but they shouldn't always be. We should find ways to be open, and in turn, gain confidence in who we are and what we stand for. Being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength.

Though not everyone in the world will be super close to you and relate on a deeper level, there will be some people you meet who you do bond with. I am fortunate enough to still be best friends with my best friend from kindergarten. She is my rock. We've experienced everything together and through many stages of our lives: childhood, pre-teen years, teenage years, and now our twenties. Even though she spends most of the year going to school 693 miles away from Purdue, she has always been the closest person to me. She knows what I'm thinking before I think it, and I trust her with my life. I believe in soul mates, not just in a romantic way, but in a friendship kind of way, and that's what we have.

You'll never meet your friend soul mate, or any kind of soul mate for that matter if you're so guarded. Let your walls come down and have love in your life.

Cover Image Credit: Mikayla Workman

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