To the Girl Who Cares Too Much
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Health and Wellness

To the Girl Who Cares Too Much

Sometimes you have to put your well-being above others'

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To the Girl Who Cares Too Much
OdysseyOnline

I came across this article one day, scrolling through my Twitter feed. I highly encourage you to give it a read, because this amazing writer managed to put my feelings of that day into words in a way that took my breath away. The major points she makes throughout her beautifully written article are all too relatable, so I cannot help but use them too.

"I just need to keep them happy."

I have never been able to tell if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I am probably the poster child of "people pleasers." In my mind, doing everything physically possible for someone else to keep them happy will equate to a great friendship. It might have taken me 20 years and a whole two and a half semesters of college to figure this out, but not all relationships are worth that level of commitment and time. There are people who will reciprocate everything you do, maybe even beyond what you do, and I hope that you can find those type of people that will keep you sane and happy in life. Unfortunately, to find those people you have to go through the toxic people who abuse your willingness to do anything and everything in your power to keep them as a friend in your life. My grades, my relationships with my family, and the things I used to value all took a back seat to the relationships I thought I was forming with the "friends" I was meeting in college. Ditching class and school work you need to focus on because someone was having a bad day, taking late night calls from people just looking for a ride, or doing someone's homework for them are all ways I sacrificed my time and my energy for people I was trying to keep happy so I would have more friends.

As the saying goes, "Be careful who you call your friends. I would rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies." Don't surround yourself with people who wouldn't do everything you would do for them. The minute you realize someone isn't as good a friend to you as you are to them, remove that toxic relationship from your life.

"I just can't ever be good enough."

Once you realize how wrong this statement is, you will realize how incredible you truly are and all the amazing qualities you bring to the table every day. Trust me, some of us have that sense of perfectionism whether it be in the classroom, in athletics, or in the hopes and dreams you aspire to achieve. Failing to be the best version of yourself in your own eyes is hard enough, never mind maintaining healthy relationships with friends and family.

Also, I hate to break it to anyone who may have thought that they are perfect. Hannah Montana said "Nobody's Perfect," and she sure is right. You may not be "perfect," but you are the best version of yourself and that is more than good enough. Don't ever doubt how great you are, even when the negative influences in your life try to tell you otherwise. You are good enough.

"If only I was like..."

I am just as guilty as the next person of using this phrase to compare myself to others. We all have some small sense of self-loathing, and it comes out the most when your insecurities are heightened. There are enough "standards" society is attempting to enforce on us in terms of beauty and success in the media that we shouldn't have to worry about comparing ourselves to the people we surround ourselves with everyday. I know I am not the brightest, or the prettiest, or the most athletic, or the most popular, or the one with the most boyfriends, and I struggle with that daily. The one thing we all have to do more of is targeting the parts of ourselves that we do like and use them to reach our true sense of happiness.

If you believe you are supportive of others, find ways to support your friends through the good times and the bad. If you excel in a certain subject, take more courses that will improve not only your GPA but also your self-esteem. If you have a secret talent, find ways to publicize it and share your gifts with others. You are special because of the way God created you and the way you were raised, so why would you want to be like everyone else?

The moral of the story boils down to what will ultimately make you happy and improve the way you feel about and view yourself. Eliminate the toxic, one-sided relationships from your life. The people that care about you will reciprocate all of the good you do for them, maybe even beyond your expectations. You are good enough, regardless of what anyone tries to tell you otherwise. The concept of comparing ourselves to others is becoming a bit overrated if you ask me. Be you and be unique. There is no one else on this earth like you, so be the best version of you that you can be.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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