When I start looking at my life and how I'm going to spend the rest of it I begin to panic. All of the anxiety and worrying hits so hard because I honestly have no idea what I want to do with it. I know I love to travel, go to concerts and just enjoy life. When it comes to careers I hate to think about it. I attempted college for a few semesters but it just wasn't for me. After that I had a "big girl" job and absolutely hated it. Insurance is for the birds ya feel? After that I got a job in retail because I'm in love with everything about fashion. But retail....for the birds too lol. I'm about to turn 21 and I feel like I should have it all figured out. Everyone around me is either in college, married, starting to have babies or just figuring things out. I've thought so much about my future lately which is why I'm sitting here writing this for anybody else who needs to hear it. It's okay to not know!! I have finally realized happiness is what matters.

Being 21 and unemployed, living with your mom & having no clue can be a little frighting but it's all going to be okay. Just think about it. Why would I go to college having no clue what my end game was? Why would anyone settle for a 9-5 job that's miserable? By no means do I think I should just be unemployed forever and just live life the way I want to, but I just don't see the point if you're not happy. A lot of people think our generation just doesn't want to work and we are all just being a little rebellious and some of us are but some of us, like me, are hard working, ready for the future but just a little unsure about it all. I don't know about you but this adult thing is hitting me hard and I mean that in the most mature way possible.

I was speaking with someone a few days ago and they had mentioned me not having a job. I was told that a job is a job and sometimes happiness just doesn't matter. Yes, a job is a job and it's how you make money and pay the bills but it's also your life. This is something you will more than likely be doing for the rest of it. So the question is...do you want to settle or find something you really love? I do understand that a job is necessary and I do understand that I'm getting to the age where I need to have my (excuse my potty mouth) shit together but sometimes I just have my shit everywhere and for me that's okay. I feel like there's just so much to life and I just can't make myself settle. I have several ideas on a career which mainly involve starting my own business which cost money & money is what I do not have but hey, I can make it happen. Dreams are so important. Let's set goals and actually reach or exceed them! I'm so tired of having ideas and writing stuff down and then never doing anything about it.

I don't know about you but I live in a small town where everyone knows each other, you stay here, get married and have babies. It's just how it is. It's just not how I see it. I get it's normal to settle down and start a family but there's so much more to life before you do that. I just recently got into traveling. I visited California last August and I think that's when it all hit me. I don't want to be the girl who stays in their hometown and does the normal thing. If that's who want to be that's fine, rock it! I just realized how much more there is out there in the world. If I knew that I could financially survive I would pack my things up and drive 28 hours to Cali right now. I keep telling myself I will save up, move out there and find a job in the fashion industry and everything will work out. Recently I've been thinking I should just go out there and live my dream. That's what life is all about right?

I guess I'm just writing this to let you know if you're struggling it's okay. We're all in the same boat. Even college students and people starting their careers are probably struggling or maybe they're unhappy. If they are happy that's great but I think we should all just do what we want. We shouldn't worry about what others think or what people think we should do. Live your life for you. Make your dreams happen. Let's just live our lives because we have one life to live and I refuse to waste it. But if along the way a sugar daddy comes into the picture just go ahead and stick with that...totally kidding. Maybe. Let's just all be happy. You have one chance, one life. And what you do with that is up to you.