To the friend who made me feel like an inconvenience:
We were doing really great for a long time. We laughed, cried, yelled, argued, bonded, grew, smiled, and ultimately...loved. And when I say loved I mean even when we argued, even when we were so frustrated and confused as to why the other was upset, we fought in a loving way. Never once did we have to wonder if the other one cared. Never once did we have to dwell in loneliness, because we were always there for each other.
Until that day.
Until that day that you decided I was not worth your time anymore. Until that day that you somehow managed to logically convince yourself that I needed to be out of your life. Until that day that you decided that the fate of our friendship was completely up to you. Until that day that you also decided I was not even worth an explanation.
Before that day.
Before that day, I had never failed to say exactly what you needed to hear, even when it was what you did not want to hear. Before that day, I fought for our friendship and persevered until it was where I thought it needed to be. Before that day, I would have never given up on our friendship. Before that day, everything seemed alright.
On that day.
On that day, I got lost in confusion and fell into a friendship abyss. On that day, I wondered why my birthday had to be the day you started pushing me away and cutting me off. On that day, I wondered where the best friend that I had for four years went. On that day, I wondered what I had done wrong.
After that day.
After that day, I pondered what had gone wrong. After that day, I wondered why you were so alright with hurting me. After that day, I thought about what I had done to deserve that sort of treatment. After that day, I could not stop trying to figure out how you were doing.
Today.
Today, six months later, I realize that you did what you needed to do. Today, I understand that you logically thought, for whatever reason, that I was a hindrance. Today, I may not know why you did what you did, but I do know that you did not wake up on that day with the intention of hurting me. Today, I forgive you for doing what you genuinely thought you needed to do.
Now.
Now, I continue to get used to a life without one of my best friends. Now, I am worried about inconveniencing people in the way that I apparently inconvenienced you. Now, I am not chained to the sadness of losing our friendship. Now, I hope you are doing well and I hope you have a great life.
From the friend that does not regret the time that was invested into our friendship. From the friend that continues to pray that you are doing alright. From the friend that will finally stop trying to fix what is already unsalvageable. From the friend that will always be here if you need someone.
