Dear freshman,
Congratulations! You have survived your first month of college. You have come into a totally different world of freedom and responsibility. You have probably had your first exam, you have reluctantly dragged yourself to convo, you have experienced the freedom of being able to do what you want, when you want, without having to ask permission from your parents, but for some reason you feel incredibly lonely. Sure, you have some friends, but they don’t really know you. You have a group that you sit with in the caf, or some classmates that you study with, but you still don’t have those best friends that really know you. You look around you and see other students that have only just met; yet they seem to be the kind of friends that have known each other since preschool, and you wonder how these people found such deep friendships in less than a month of being at college. You see girls and guys on your hall with boyfriends and girlfriends already, and you wonder how in the world that happened, especially considering the ratio. You see the friendships and relationships you so crave, but don’t quite have yet, and it feels incredibly isolating.
You are not alone. You are not the only one who hasn’t found their set friend group. You are not the only one who feels lonely. It is ok that you haven’t found those lifelong friends yet. It is ok that you haven’t found a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Community takes time. Deep, meaningful relationships take time and effort to grow. You may not find those friends you can tell anything to this semester, or even this year, and that is perfectly ok, because finding those friends that just get you is worth the wait. I was like you. I had a lot of acquaintances my first year, but I didn’t really develop any deep, true friendships until a couple months into my sophomore year. I say this not to be discouraging, but to tell you that community takes time. Wherever you find your community, whether it is through your hall, a campus ministry, your sorority or fraternity, an athletic team, or a home group, it will take time for your relationships to grow. Deep relationships come from vulnerability and authenticity, and sometimes it takes awhile to feel comfortable opening up to people and sharing your true self, and that is ok. The friendships that last are the ones that involve each person pouring into each other, being vulnerable, and sharing their struggles. Those kinds of friendships take time to grow, but once they bloom, they are beautiful and lasting, and you soon realize they were worth the wait.
So if you still feel alone, looking for those friends that just get you, have patience. It takes time. You will find your place here. You will find a home at Samford, and you will find the people that make it home for you. Be yourself, be vulnerable, and know you will find your place.
