As a boy, I was raised learning that one of the most important things to remember as a part of becoming a man was to treat women with respect. One thing I would often ask was, "Why don't you just say to treat everyone with respect? Why specifically women? Does that mean I have to worry less about treating other men with respect?" The answer I would receive would be less than satisfying much of the time, or at least it had seemed that way before. As I've grown into an adult male, I've grown to realize more clearly just how important it is to not only treat everyone with respect, but specifically women. And as I look at the world around me today, it is clear that this is still a lesson that is being struggled with by men everywhere.

The reason it is so important to focus on respecting the opposite sex is because they have been placed in a state of lesser importance for - well, basically forever. Consider this argument similar to that of Black Lives Matter (African-Americans have been subjected to oppression for hundreds of years in our country, and so it is important to shift focus to the importance of their lives.) Throughout history, women have been considered, by a large majority, inferior to men in some way or another. While this has changed for the better in many ways - women are considered more equal in many places and cases - the job is far from done. Examples range all over: from more obvious instances like the wage gap, to the less discussed double-standards women face with things like slut-shaming.

One of the largest issues that has been under the public eye recently is the dangerously thin line between flirtation and harassment. Rape culture is so ingrained into our society that it is almost unnoticeable to some who contribute to it. Compare this with institutionalized racism. It is interesting how the oppression faced by women parallels with other sorts of oppression, such as that of African-Americans. Oppression is a part of our society, but it is one that we can, and must be eradicated.

I personally witnessed an instance of this thin line very recently. What I will divulge is that it was a college-aged male justifying the actions of another similarly described person, which involved touching a college-aged female inappropriately simply because it was (paraphrasing) "just how he is. That's just how he is with her." That kind of justification is what contributes to the problem of rape culture that our country has. Dismissing the real issue and giving more leniency to the offender without any real sort of sense is the underlying problem.

While the meaning behind this incident may not have been even recognized by the offender, it does not cancel out the fact that it is not right. You can't kill somebody and claim to have not meant it and make it okay. There is accountability, even in accidents or cases in which you do not realize you are harming the other person. This is the fragility of flirtation that men so often tease at and, sometimes, break through to cause real harm.

I, myself, have not been perfect in my relationships with women. I don't believe anyone can truly say that they have been. But I would take accountability for any harm I may have caused to a woman simply because of the fact that she's a woman. If I made a slightly sexist joke, or gave a disapproving look because a woman had slept with someone, I would try to recognize that that is wrong, work to change that, and gain her respect back, while giving my respect to her. This is my message to the other men in our country and around the world: Learn to understand the boundaries of our female friends and show respect to those. Women deserve just as much respect as we men do. Next time you may be faced with a friend saying or doing something that may encroach on this ideal, speak up, and help change the culture that has plagued our society. And remember that what you may think is innocent flirtation can be received as something much worse.