"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival." - C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Alas, the time I've spent ruminating on old friendships is indeed bittersweet, but it was also the time I came to a crescendo of inner peace. Here's the deal, we all have a season where we find ourselves in a pleasant, harmonious circle of friends, yet some relationships come to an end and it can leave wounds that are agonizing, yet it develops resiliency. There comes a point when one realizes that their avenue in life is much different than the walk that their friends are traveling and must come to a crossroads and decide where they want to go. The process is rather difficult because it can seem like the individual has his hands tied behind his back, but also necessary. The growth of oneself is necessary to burn bridges, sacrifice quality time for independence, and even aim for one's opportunities given.

Now, I'm not saying you have to leave everybody, nor have any friends, but recognize that life will disappoint you if wishful thinking comes about that it becomes an obsession to have friends around all the time, and even staying with toxic relationships. Staying with a bad circle will reflect character from one another and it will conceive bad company. Think for a minute and consider the current circle you run with. Is it larger? Smaller perhaps? Maybe, the circle is dull, corroded, or maybe dead. Has there come a period when what was once a joyful experience, become a tragic end? The root of betrayal and bitterness is a pawn in a game of chess that could destroy your sanity, your pursuit of happiness, and importantly, your identity for survival. Why let the blood boil from hatred towards the brother that once said, "I love thee with a welcoming embrace," to "Thou brother I loved, while mentally stabbing your back with a shiv," when instead to let go of the tiresome burden of hatred? The cost of reaping what others have wronged you for isn't worth the energy to lose your peace. Forgiveness and friendship is a two-way street to sustaining the survival of one another's character.

I discovered this concept months ago when it came to a point, where I had someone to forgive, namely myself first, then to forgive others. I didn't want to badger my old circles with my trivial problems; I just wanted a new beginning, no, another checkpoint. Saying goodbye to some of my friends was probably a painful, yet enduring experience for me. For many of my old contacts, I didn't even say goodbye, I left seeking the splendor of life. A year ago I asked myself if the pain ever weighs out the pride, but this was also one of my mistakes. The past of weights, scales, and balances wasn't important, nor worth tinkering with. The significance of what each person I came to contact with, are the lessons in which I've learned to mold my character to create a positive impact on the world. Yes, I admit, I do miss the adventures of late nights laughing, crying together, the recreational fun of video games, board games, walks in the park, hiking, and such, and I cherish those moments although the bridges have burned down. I do know, that some of my old friends did mean well, and they fought tooth and nail to see a person like me grow, but there are a time and place for everything, and it's not in our time to fix it, nor worry about it. It's better to do what you can and to move forward without looking back.

Whatever comes before you, whatever friendships set sail or shipwreck, remember why you kept moving forward and hold on to the circles that have never stunted your growth, no matter the distance. Friendship is measured by the capacity of forgiveness; to forgive doing wrong upon others and asking to forgive for one's mistakes.

To the old friends and acquaintances that I used to converse with, I'm sorry for who I was, and my hope for you is that you find peace, and people who will watch you grow. I love you all and I cherish every chapter that was made in my life to give back to others who need a friend.