So let's talk about the emotional roller coaster that is having a crush. It has its ups and its downs. Usually, there are zero seconds between the two. I can still tell you, in great, the horror of having my first crush in 7th grade. Fast forward, I am now a senior in college and having crushes has still not changed. Every crush has the same five stages. While they are eerily similar to the 5 Stages of Grief, I would like to point out crushes are worse. Science even says so.
Denial:
Realizing that you have a crush is really similar to when you realize that you're starting to get a cold. You try so hard to lie to yourself about it and secretly hope that it goes away without ruining your life. However, much like a cold, if you ignore it a crush will just grow stronger and overtake you.Eventually, you can no longer deny that you have this giant crush on someone and you completely lose it.
Anger:
The anger stage has a lot of "WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF?" with some "I AM AN IDIOT" sprinkled in here and there. You have little angry dad pep talks with yourself about how you need to get it together. It looks a lot like this:
You can yell at yourself all you want, but it's futile. It's too late. You are now trapped in this crush. Welcome to emotional prison. You are now stuck here for an indefinite amount of time and there are very few ways out. So you try to move on to the next stage.
Bargaining:
This stage is by far my favorite. I also like to refer to it as the "Cringe Stage" because it's easily the most embarrassing. This is the stage where you try to convince yourself that you can either control all of this or that there is some type of cosmic tradeoff you can make. Here are some examples: "I'll only text ___ once. No double texting. If I do that, they won't think I'm crazy" "I will never do ____ again. Just let this person like me." "Maybe if I'm REALLY nice ____ will like me." Now if this stage doesn't work out for you, you can always just not feel.
Repression:
I bet you're thinking "wow what a great idea!" right now. Unfortunately, since the vast majority of us aren't sociopaths, repressing emotions only works for so long. That's right. This is not a perfect fix. So whether or not you like it, eventually, you have to accept it.
Acceptance:
The scariest stage is easily when you're forced to accept that you're totally crushing on someone. At this point, if you haven't already done so, you have to talk to them and let them know that you have a crush on them. If you're like me and super lucky, the person you like will like you back. If you aren't, well that really sucks for you. Having an unrequited crush is pretty similar to repeatedly being punched in the face but with emotions.
Crushes are almost always at least a little awful and awkward. The thing is, they have the potential to be so great. So just carry on and hope for the best. In the event that they don't work, I suggest some ice cream and a playlist of Drake. If Drake can get over his unrequited love for Nicki Minaj, you can get over whoever you're caught up on. You got this.
