The first day of school is a very important day. Very very important. It's the most important. It's the day you'll embark on your glorious journey of higher education. For college students, there are two first days of school in one year, as we all know. This means twice the excitement(!), but also twice the stress. Below is a snippet of what we all experience on the first day of school.
6:20 a.m.
Your alarm goes off. Do you want to get up? No. Do you need to get up? Yes. Are you going to get up?... No.
6:40 a.m.
Your alarm goes off again. Oh, dang! You really need to get up!
6:41 a.m.
You go to get out of your bed, and suddenly forget that it is lofted, so naturally you have a mini heart attack as you miss the step to your ladder. It's okay — you're super nimble, so all is well.
6:45 a.m.
You try to find your way around your dorm room in the dark. Why can’t you just turn on the light? Oh, your roommate's still sleeping...but then you realize that with the amount of crashing into things you're doing, turning on the light would've been better.
6:47 a.m.
You enter the community bathroom and are welcomed by a blinding light. This bathroom is the place where you struggle every morning. What's the struggle, you say?
Well you see, when you are a girl, you use makeup. The problem is the lighting in the bathroom makes you look like you're jaundiced. So how are you supposed to accurately apply foundation if you don't know the true color of your skin? Good question. Please send help if you have the answer.
7:10 a.m.
You finally finish getting ready in the bathroom and you go back to your dorm.
7:11 a.m.
You get into your dorm and, after accidentally slamming the door, you end up bumping into your desk chair and drop your 20-pound hairdryer on the floor. Your poor roommate...
7:13 a.m.
You look over and realize she's been up the WHOLE TIME on her phone.
7:15 a.m.
Stressed out by the whole situation, you leave your room to get breakfast. Painting your face works up an appetite, after all.
7:20 a.m.
You arrive at the dining hall and experience your daily dose of disappointment when you taste the food. You begin to wonder if the eggs are even real.
7:35 a.m.
So you walk into your class, and if you’re like me, you arrive like an hour before the class actually starts because you're afraid of being late. You do this... every time. You get into class, see all the open seats, and immediately regret your decision. Ooo! So many options.
7:36 a.m.
You begin to analyze the pros and cons of the next very important decision that you will soon make. If you sit in the front, you won’t have any distractions, but you'll feel the eyes of the people behind you burning into the back of your head.
However, if you sit in the back, you are able to watch your peers, but then you end up getting distracted by that one kid who is playing solitaire on his laptop.
You end up sitting somewhere in the middle.
8:00 a.m.
After everybody's filed into the room, the professor introduces his or herself and goes over the syllabus, which is over 50 pages long. Are you following along as the professor reads? No. Instead you spend the whole class thinking about their personal life.
Are they married/engaged? No, they don't have a ring on. Are they one of those married couples who doesn’t believe in wedding bands? Maybe just dating. Or are they too old for that? Wait, when is one ‘too old’ to date?
8:05 a.m.
Then your thoughts go haywire and you begin to think about that time in elementary school when you thought your teachers lived at school. Then you wonder if the tables turned and your college professors thought that you lived at school…oh wait…you do.
8:06 a.m.
You pull yourself away from your thoughts and try to follow along in the syllabus. As you read the syllabus, you feel a panic attack coming. How can you already have this much homework and you haven’t even been in the class for ten minutes? Should I have paid attention?
9:15 a.m.
Once you escape from the cave, you feel a sense of relief and pride. Relief that you are out and pride that you were able to last. Little do you know, you have 5 more classes to go to. Oh yeah, and you have to repeat this schedule for 14 weeks. Whoopie!
