It’s really easy for people to look at the exterior and think everything is butterflies and rainbows. If you looked a little closer to the exterior of many, you would see tiny cracks.
There is this girl, who has blond hair that she tucks behind her ear, hazel eyes that see the best in everyone, and long, skinny fingers attached to hands that give and give. This girl comes from an amazing family, who supports her through anything. She has the best of friends, and beautiful sorority sisters that keep her on her feet. She tries to leave a little sparkle wherever she goes and makes other people smile even when she can’t smile herself. She crosses oceans for people that wouldn’t get their feet wet for her. She is a beautiful person, who doesn’t see all the potential she has, because she was diagnosed with depression.
She tries really hard to not let it show, and she will never be seen without a smile, but she cries herself to sleep a lot. She’ll always lend a helping hand, but will never ask for one even when she desperately needs it. She always takes the higher road, but what you said probably hurt her feelings. She is a girl who bites her freshly done, pink nails when anxiety hits. She is a girl who is constantly surrounded by people, yet she feels so alone. She is a girl that just doesn’t give a damn what people think anymore.
I can honestly say, I know I am not the only one who has felt ashamed of the fact I was diagnosed with an anxiety/depression disorder. I can honestly say, I know I am not the only person that is exhausted from hiding it. People need to realize that it is okay to not be okay. It took me forever to get to that point, and I’m honestly just now getting to the point. I truly don’t care what people have to say about it or the judgmental things they will think. I’m okay with it, because I know this minor setback is going to make me so much stronger; it already has. I know it is a scary feeling to be sad and not know why, and I know it is hard for people to understand that, but don’t let that undermine the way you feel. Telling someone not to be sad because other people have it worse is like telling someone not to be happy because someone has it better. I’ve never heard about a storm that lasted forever, so your storm won’t either. There are only rainbows after rain.
Always remember that you’re not alone and your scars do not define you. The one thing that kept me fighting, and not giving in, was because of Romans 8:18: “the pain you feel now can’t compare to the joy that is coming ahead.” Soon enough, the clouds are going to part, bringing the sunlight to beam on your face, leaving all shadows behind you.
Have a little faith and you’ll see that it won’t last forever. Time heals all wounds, no matter the size. When you fall, pick yourself up off the floor even if your bones can’t take any more. Remember what you’re here for and all the good you bring to the people in your life. Don’t be ashamed of the things that hold you back, because they will release you into something amazing. I know it gets hard, but live the hell out of this life you were given. None of us are going to make it out alive anyways, so don’t take anything too seriously. I’m ending this article with a smile on my face because I am damn proud of myself, and I now take pride in the person I am. Whenever you’re experiencing a storm in your life, dance in the rain and be proud of you, too.
