Choir kids are a unique breed. We're all a little quirky, but we are also incredibly talented and some of the best people you will ever meet. We can also be the absolute worst. Approach with caution. Whether you are a choir student past or present, you know you identify with these joys and struggles of being a member of the choir family.
1. Starting off every rehearsal like this:
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Massage trains. It was only ever awkward if you were at the end of your row and had no one to massage on one side. Say it with me now: "Aaaaaand chop chop chop!"
2. Desperately trying not to laugh/spit/swallow your own tongue during lip trills like:
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3. Bass love.
There are no pictures for this one, because bass love truly transcends description of any form. It seems that regardless of the choir I participate in, all the basses love each other strangely and homoerotically. It's beautiful, really. The massages become very sensual, and the rest of the choir just accepts it, because reasons.
4. "And this semester we'll be singing Eric Whitacre."
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LOOK AT THIS MAN.
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LOOK AT THOSE LUSCIOUS BLONDE LOCKS.
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HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A MORE BEAUTIFUL HUNK OF CHORAL GENIUS?!?!?!
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Aside from his musical genius, he is candid about the fact that he joined choir in college to meet women. Absolute stud. In the words of Amy Farrah-Fowler, "The uterus quivers, does it not?"
5. CHOIYAH TOOOUUURRR
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Choir tour, aka the BEST time ever. My memories from choir tour are some of my fondest memories from high school. The inside jokes were endless, the rap battles were unreal, and no matter where we traveled, we had an incredible time.
6. When the tenors try to hit the high note:
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Key word: try.
7. When the sopranos try to hit the high note:
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Perhaps even more reprehensible, because a) we really should be able to hit those notes, and b) even when we can't hit them, we'll still sing as loudly as humanly possible because we're sopranos. The choir would literally not exist without us.
8. When the basses try to sing actual words:
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They're so used to singing "ooh"s and "bum"s that on the rare occasion that they have actual words to sing, they can't do it. It's sad, really. You have to feel bad for them. They're practically illiterate.
9. When the altos just don't sing. At all.
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As a soprano, I get it. It's hard to constantly live in the shadow of the sopranos as a woman in choir. I mean, there's a reason why the prima donna is almost always a soprano. But please, altos, you contribute to the chords more than you think. We respect when you actually sing out.
10. On that note (pun very much intended), low-key hating all the other voice parts. And sometimes your own.
The tenors have failed to go through puberty...
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...the altos think they're too cool for school, the sopranos are conceited bitches with superiority complexes and delusions of grandeur, and the basses never have their shit together. Basses, you are the FOUNDATION of the choir!!!
11. But at the same time, loving everybody because everyone is an integral part of the choir family.
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Without each individual person, the choir family would not be the same. Each person adds something unique to the ensemble, not only musically, but also with their personality - and you wouldn't trade any of them for the world.
