I grew up with two older sisters. So when they brought boyfriends home, I was never really that protective brother, simply because, well, it was never my job to intimidate their boyfriends (like I ever could). I trusted them. Never questioned their motives, they were their own people.

When I first started dating, it was around maybe the end of middle school and the start of high school. And well, when I brought girls back home, my sisters were not overbearing or in my face either (thank you). It was the simple, stupid, cheesy, and most of all, the most stereotypical suburban dating you had ever seen. Mom or Dad dropped us off at the movies or ice skating rink, and picked us up after we finished making out as fast as we could, you get the gist.

In high school, it turned into more serious relationships. Finally getting a car, well, that changed the game. Now I had a bit more responsibility and a bit more freedom. Being raised by my father in a traditional fashion, I was told to respect women, pay for their meal, open the door first, you know, standard dating procedures. This happened, and throughout high school, I had my fair share of quality relationships mixed with jaw dropping heart breaks. And I’m not here to say it was all fine and dandy now, either. I regret some things about my relationships. Honestly, I do. Words were said, things were done. But what I do not regret, is the fact that lessons were learned, and now we have grown.

You see, everyone changes from a relationship. Whether for good or for bad, everyone learns something. However, many don’t realize what they learn.

The most important thing, is that people change, and not only do they realize what they want for themselves, but they realize what they want in a relationship, and in their life in general.

With that being said, we shall now move on to “The Feminist Man.”

Throughout college, I realized that women do not need to be praised and treated on dates. Though I had been raised in a traditional way, to spoil and treat the lady I am taking out, I have now grown to realize that in doing so, I am continuing the trend of the over powering man that has been around since the creation of the male-to-female relationship.

I took a woman out on a date once, and to be honest, I was afraid, because I knew she was a raging feminist. To my surprise, it was one of the nicest dates I have ever been on. Not only was I engaged in intelligent conversation, but I was also engaged in something new for me, something refreshing, a new school concept.

Throughout the date, we walked the street, talked, split everything we bought half in half, (I paid for mine, she paid for hers) and it just made sense. As a literature major, we touch on the fragile subjects of sex, race, and religion. My new school ways of thinking had always felt so wrong to me, but meeting another with the same viewpoint made me realize that in my heart, I was right.

You see, growing up, when I was raised to pay for the woman, be that strong male figure, I had a lot of pressure to succeed for the both of us, as a pair. Nowadays, I see the issue with that.

The issue is power. When one pays for the date, said other relies on that person. Just as stereotypical western culture has shown, the housewife relies on the man who brings home the bacon. But wait, we are in the 21st century. How can this still be?

What I am saying ladies, and men is that when we confine ourselves to this strict view of traditional dating, we do not move towards equality. In fact, we actually impede it.

Now, it is going to sound weird, but yes, yes I am a feminist, but at the same time, I am also a meninist. For all of you who do not see how this is possible, let me just put it this way…

I believe that any human being has the right to live their life in society as a human, not defined by race, not defined by religion, and most of all, not defined by gender. Gay or straight, transexual, bisexual, asexual, whatever have you, good for you.

For those of you who read this fully, I hope you feel the same way as me. Now, me being a traditional man, I have grown accustomed to wanting to treat my lady, and it is hard for me to get that out of my habitual dating routine. However, what is most important, is that I notice it and that I am trying to change it as time goes on. We should all be looking for equality, every one of us, as humans on this beautiful earth, and well, the only way we are going to do that is to simply get out of our comfort zones and CHANGE.

To those of you in relationships right now, I urge you to think about yourself in that relationship, not just you as a “part” of that relationship, but what it really means to you.

Food for thought,

Brandon