This week, I didn't think I was going to have a valid idea for an article. To be honest, I'm still surprised that I am currently writing this while having a semi major slump. Unlike a lot of you who are in the slammer for finals week, I'm no longer in college. I completed that journey over a year ago, however, I'm still feel out of place. Yes, I'm currently applying for better suited jobs while gracefully embracing my current one and I'm trying to write a full length novel for a potential publication. And also, I'm currently moving to a new/old place with my partner in crime when money is tight. Yet at the same time, I'm struggling for an purpose to even become secured in my personal life.
Perhaps, I was shooting for opportunities that were too high or not when I figured reality was going to be a hit or miss at the tender age of 22. Being an English Lit major is a challenging field if you don't want to become a teacher of some sorts, but if you know how to reach for a goal, then do it. As a writer, the crossroad path I'm enduring is something of a confusing state. I have no confidence in myself yet I know I can be better at stuff no one can be even with much practice. The slump I feel affects everything I do and that's a result of possibly seeing the reality I've envisioned for myself being a false dream. And no, it doesn't affect the people around me at all. It's just I feel this way when I know there are others dealing with worse situations than I do. I am impatient when it comes to pursuing a goal and often makes so many mistakes. Yet, I get that's a way to learn about stuff I had missed out on before. Maybe at twenty three, I'm still trying to discover who I am as a person and maybe as a writer. I haven't been writing these stories like I used too, I haven't focused on myself since I left college, hell, I haven't been reading as much I would like too. Maybe this article is a continuation of my Self Identity one from a few weeks ago, but even so, I'm still trying to get out of the slump I've dug myself into for so long.
More or less, the true moral of this article is to never end up where I'm currently am on a mental and spiritual level. Confuse and hollow so to speak yet completely functional to be happy or content with life. I know eventually I will be out of this self indulged doubt and focused on what matters to people such as my family and a way to secure a lifestyle that would make a better future for ourselves. However, right now, I feel as so I need to discover a truth that no one cannot give me for the Holidays. I really do pray for everyone to not end up the way I'm feeling at this point, but if you are thinking of doing something extreme, then do it. I didn't take the chances and I regret it. So do it and make yourself happy once school is over.
