I use to be absolutely terrified of college. I knew everything would be drastically different, especially coming from a small school where people knew everyone and everything they did. With that, I knew some things would be for the better, but I moreso thought things would be for the worse. I was so incredibly worried for what college was and what it expected of me, and I honestly didn’t know how to feel about it. I wasn’t the kind of kid who went to summer camps, or the kind to spend a week away with other family members. I was the kind of kid that loved home, and I was fine with staying home and spending time with my family or spending time playing video games every Saturday night. As high school rolled around, my consistent nights at home became few and far between. I was very involved in activities throughout high school, and some days I was gone from 7 in the morning to 9 at night. Being so involved in activities and being successful in those activities just made me more afraid of college. I was so worried about not having these activities in my life anymore, and I didn’t know if the success in my high school days would be my peak. But, the time of graduation came, and I knew I had to push forward.

I don’t think the idea or concept of college really hit me until orientation. I remember being terrified yet excited. Everything was so new and different. Coming into orientation, I was mostly scared for college. I had never lived away from home before, and I had always had my family there by my side. Now, at college, I was on my own. No one to tell me the weather for the day, no one to ask me about my schedule, no established normal. Everything was going to be different, and that was terrifying for me.

But after orientation, I became more excited about college. To be on campus and feel the potential of what could happen was exhilarating. Although I was still nervous, my brain flipped the switch and let me feel the excitement and potential of what college could be.

Then reality set back in, and the day of moving in came around. College is scary, and stupid, for move in day. There’s a lot of excitement, but to move in 5 days before classes start creates for long, boring days filled with too much time to think. My mornings of my first few days started with a phone call to my sister, talking out of loneliness to drop out and move home to go to a local community college. Everything was so different at first, and it really is terrifying and lonely. I know that isn’t the case for everyone, but that was the case for me, and I hated it.

When college starts, life continues on. That is what got me through my first month of college. Everything at college seemed boring, but life outside of college was moving at the speed of light, and it kept me going. Eventually though, everything calmed down. The drives home got long and annoying, and college became more fun and engaging. Everyone finally started to get comfortable and embrace the reality of this new chapter in life. New friendships finally moved into familiarity and purged the apprehensiveness of beginning interactions. Classes also became manageable, despite a heavier workload. All of these factors made the outside world seem not as appealing.

Skip ahead a few weeks, when all of these factors remained instilled, and I’m now at the stage where I love college. It’s been long enough where there is a new normal, which makes living here comfortable, and it’s fun. With this, I’ve decided that I don’t miss high school at all. Even after going back to my school for various events, it has assured me that I do not miss high school. I don’t mean this in a bad way, but my time in high school has come and gone. Now I just want to move forward and see what else there is in life. No more stupid high school “social games” or politics, no more drama; just freedom in deciding how to live my life. I loved all of my high school activities, but they’re done, and I’m done with them. I can’t live in the past because I might miss opportunities in the present.

Coming into college, I told myself it will be different, but I told myself I needed to embrace it. The best way to handle change is to accept it and embrace it. I told myself the best years of my life so far happened in high school, and when I go to college I need to embrace the change in order to let myself grow. If they best years happened in high school, that means my new “best years” could happen in college, so going to college and not giving it a chance could ruin that opportunity for me. I’m glad I viewed it that way, because I let myself struggle, but then I overcame it. And now I feel so free from everything that use to be in my life. I’ve discovered how fun it is to start new and fresh. You no longer have a reputation and expectation about who you are. In going back to my hometown, I could feel those expectations fall back onto me. At my high school’s events I went to this fall, everything just felt the way it used to and I didn't feel like I belonged. People will learn one thing about you and they use that one fact to assume to know you. Here, that “reputation” of home doesn’t exist, and people want to get to know you. It isn’t a small town where everyone helps everyone learn about you. Instead, it is a place where people learn you for who you really are. Yeah, you can pretend to be someone you aren’t, but I find clarity in knowing that people know me for who I am and not for the labels by people placed on me. Everywhere you go, there are opportunities to make friends and meet new people. I feel like in my hometown, that just isn’t an option anymore. There are opportunities to get to know people better and build stronger friendships, but the opportunity to start over fresh and new isn’t there. These are all reasons why I love college. Don't get me wrong, I'm so incredibly thankful for all of my teachers and my friends who made me the person I am today, but I know its time for me to move on. I don't want to upset anyone, but people change as time moves on, and it's my time to do that.

So, to the people who are terrified of college, I understand. I was in your

shoes. But just embrace the change and give college a chance. When I say give it a chance, give it a chance. Give it time. It isn’t going to happen in one day, or five weeks, maybe not even in three months, but good things will come with time. Give change time, and it will bring you peace in the end. I know it’s scary, but in the end, you will be fine. Trust me: embrace what is different. Everything's better with your best effort.