how friendship changes as we grow
Relationships

The Evolution of Friendship

Find your people and get rid of the ones who make you feel like you are less than

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Katie Coviello

The older I get the more I realize how different friendships have become. Both in how you make them and their deeper purpose. When you're younger they are made quickly and seem to multiply exponentially. They are made out of convenience and due to superficial ideas, such as "oh we both like soccer" or "our favorite color is pink". These friendships are fine in the sense that they fulfill their purpose and provide the type of happiness and love that a child needs in order to prosper.

The older I get, I have found that the number of friendships I have continues to decline but the quality and substance within the remaining ones have become richer and fuller. Vulnerability increases, trust increases, and love increases. You start to do actions that will benefit the other person rather than yourself and you bond over deeper beliefs/fears/dreams rather than a favorite food or movie. These friendships are so special, but you don't even realize you have them until you're in them or you're in a toxic friendship and you understand exactly what it is that you are missing.

Katie Coviello

The older I get the more I experience toxic relationships. Actually, scratch that, the older I get the more I am able to realize when I am in a toxic relationship. The key to these is not realizing that you are in one, but taking the proper steps to remove yourself from them. No, it's not selfish. No, it's not mean. At the end of the day, you need to take care of you. If your friends are not taking care of you, then you won't either. When it gets to the point in a friendship where you are physically and emotionally drained by just talking to the person then take a step back. Realize and remove. Cleanse and purify. Take care of yourself.

Katie Coviello

Find the friends that you want to go to brunch with every Sunday even though you hate waking up early. Find the friends who let you run around at 3 am like a complete idiot and do it with you. Find the friends who make you feel alive. Find the friends who laugh at your dumb jokes. Find the friends that make your heart ache when you have to be apart for awhile. Find the friends who know you like the back of your hand. Find the friends who will push you every day. I have and I couldn't be more grateful.

Katie Coviello

Though my number of friends has decreased over the years, the quality of the people that I spend my time with has quadrupled. I really do have some of the best friends in the whole world and I couldn't be more grateful. I've lost some along the way and that's okay. No rain, no flowers. So, go find the people that make you your best self. Find the people that you can binge watch your favorite show with but also stay up until 3 am talking about your future with. Find your people and get rid of the ones who make you feel like you are less than. Find the friends that make you feel like you are more.

Katie Coviello

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