So, let's the address the elephant in the room. The hairy one. MY HAIR. For starters, I totally appreciate your interest and admiration, but, the probing has to stop. The reason I have to address this issue is because I feel theres a huge double standard when it comes to a woman of color changing up her hair. My white peers do it all the time and no one deems them as ghetto or says they change it 'too' much.
You know what I mean. The "is that your real hair?", "Can I touch it?", "Can you like straighten it?", or the comments that sound super crazy: "Your hair is like a giant q-tip", and "I've never seen your hair straight." Interestingly enough, my hair has been straight a million times.
I understand, we're two different kinds of people, and our hair is different. I know. But imagine if I came up to you, every time your hair was curly, straight, colored different, or just in a new style and asked questions that honestly make you feel like you're some weird science experiment or new species.
There's a difference between admiring my kinky/course hair and probing me. My hair can be curly one day, and straight the next just like yours. I may have a fro one day, and braids down my back the next. NO, my hair didn't grow that long over night, so please don't ask me if that's "like my real hair or something." Honestly, if you're an adult you know better. Huge pet peeve.
You have seen my hair straight. It was just curled or styled just like your straight hair. When I have long braids in, there is a specific braiding hair attached to mine and braided down. I can wear weaves or extensions easily.
Also, please don't ever make the mistake of assuming I'm the Bon Qui Qui character from SNL because I have weave, a full set of nails, and hoop earrings in. Every race gets some type of extensions. I call it weave, you call it extensions. I see all kinds of women in the nail salon beside me, and hoops are cute on anyone.
So, what am I saying ultimately? Not that you can't say anything at all, but that a simple "I like your hair" fits. That way, there's no awkward silence and hostility when you ask if it's real, how long it took, and where the hair came from, as if we all don't shop at Sally beauty supply or Amazon for our hair needs.
Sincerely,
A black girl over micro-aggressions with my hair and style.
