When it comes to how they're viewed in society as a whole, it seems that a lot of times women get the short end of the stick, and I'm not just saying that because I am one. For as long as time has existed, men have been seen as the stronger and more dominant gender. Men are in fact physically stronger than women most of the time and there is no arguing that. However, when it comes to a battle of physical strength versus mental strength, I really do believe that women are on par with men, and might even take the lead some. Women seem to be held to a lot higher and a lot more expectations than men. That's just the honest truth. Don't believe me? Let's talk about it.
It seems that in society, guys can do just about anything and be applauded. Even if they do something wrong and do absolutely nothing to own up to it, society still forgives them easily. They get a swat on the wrist before they carry on with their day as if nothing happened. It hardly seems like they learn from the lessons and take the time to figure out where the went wrong after the fact.
Even rarer is a guy who puts himself in someone else's shoes before making a move. I'm not saying that men are incapable of empathy at all, but I think that some men really just don't care that much. Women, on the other hand, MUST have empathy for others. If you don't, you're generally considered heartless. One wrong move could be a scarlet letter hanging on your neck for the rest of your life, as hard to get off your record as a felony. It's easy to find yourself collecting the whole alphabet. Now let's talk direct scenarios.
Stay at home dad? Good for you! Spend more time with your kids! A working dad? Yes! Be the breadwinner and provide!
Miss your daughter's dance recital? He's probably a busy man, you can't demand too much of his time! Show up at your daughter's dance recital? What an awesome dad supporting his daughter!
Wait for sex? What an admirable, stand up guy! 50 bodies? Boys will be boys. They can't really fight that temptation. (Side note: Miss me with this absolutely poor excuse and come to me when you have something better).
Gets plastered or high constantly? Saturdays are for the boys! Doesn't drink? How responsible!
Does something to help his wife, such as cleaning up around the house or making dinner or share his feelings? Wow, what a perfect husband! He didn't need to do that! Doesn't ever do anything to help? He's a man. You can't expect him to show you his feelings.
No matter what, as a guy, you will always win. In every scenario, in every fashion, it is always a winning situation. The response is always favorable. The expectations are through the ground low. Flip the script and it's quite the opposite.
Stay at home mom? She must be lazy. Working mom? You're terrible, spend some time with your kids.
Miss your daughter's dance recital? Unbelievable that she's so unsupportive of her kids. Show up at your daughter's dance recital? That's expected, you aren't doing anything extraordinary.
Wait for sex? What a prude. 50 bodies? Wow, what a hoe.
Get's plastered or high even a few times? She's trashy. She's a partier. She can't be trusted. Doesn't? What a buzz kill. She's no fun.
Does something to help husband or something sentimental for him? That's expected of you. You pick up his load always. Did you want a cookie or something? Doesn't? She's an uptight (insert explicative of your choosing).
The expectations for women are so much larger than for men, some of them actually so unobtainable that some women drive themselves crazy trying to achieve the unachievable. The expectation for girls is no less than being absolutely perfect, and if you can't do that easily then you're doing it all wrong. Meanwhile, the bar is set so low for men expectations, that they get by without even doing the bare minimum expectation or what should just be assumed that they should be doing without anyone actually having to tell them. Sometimes even just not cheating on your significant other, for example, is something that deserves recognition. It's the sad truth.
Now before I move on, I would like to make a point that I'm not trying to say all men are bad. I'm not even trying to say all people in society think in the ways of double standards. If you think that the standard should be set equally for both sexes, then this article is not directed at you. However, it seems to be an overwhelming majority DO think this way in society, and that is something that needs to change.
I'm not asking for power over men. I'm not asking anything outrageous or unreasonable. This isn't an extreme feminist's article. I'm not asking for anything radical. I'm actually asking for something quite rational.
Whatever the expectation is, it needs to apply both ways.
We all need to hold each other to the same standard. If we're going to say that it's an okay thing for guys to do, then it should be an okay thing for girls to do as well. If we're going to say that it's a bad thing for girls to do, then it should be a bad thing for guys to do as well. I would even be willing to let guys decide what is considered good or bad overall, as long as EVERYONE is held to those standards and expectations. It should sound like this:
Stay at home mom? Good for her. What an awesome mother to her kids. Stay at home dad? Good for him. What a great father to his kids. Working mom? I'm glad she is following her dreams and is driven to provide. Working dad? I'm glad that he's following his dreams and is driven to provide.
I'm not even saying that you can't disagree with someone else's life choices. We all have opinions and different walks of life. What isn't okay is to demean one person for a choice because they're female when you have five guy friends doing the exact same thing. However, if it's going to be wrong for one gender, it needs to be wrong for both. You don't get to make rules and then exempt yourself from them. You need to take responsibility. Let's leave double standards behind. You especially can't demean someone else for the choices they're making if you are making the exact same ones.
You can't demand what you can't provide.
That can apply to multiple things. If someone did it to you and you wouldn't like it, you shouldn't be doing it. If you don't want to be judged for it, then don't judge someone else for it. If you don't like that person texting your girlfriend, you better make sure no girls are texting you.
Finally, if you're in a relationship, double standards definitely won't fly. Relationships are two people working together as a team. Yes, you should be helping out around the house. Yes, you should be helping to raise the kids. Yes, you should be there to rant to after a long day of work. I don't care who you are. The responsibility falls 50/50 the minute you enter the relationship, and it won't work if someone is always picking up the slack in one area.
But that's another conversation.
For now, let me leave you with this:
You can't demand what you can't provide and you can't demean what you're doing. Quit the double standards and grow up.
