Take these do's and don'ts very seriously. I am not telling you this for no reason, I am telling you this because my first year of college was nothing but horrible with roommates. Everything you could have imagined that could go wrong with roommates, happened to me. Having roommates can either go really good or really bad. In no way, am I bad talking my past roommates but the experiences that they put me through has made me want to share these with you so, that you don't have to go through what I did. I say all this because I myself went through three roommates in one year!
DO'S
1. Establish Boundaries. Boundaries are huge when you live with someone in a tiny dorm. Are you okay with crazy parties lasting early hours of the morning? Do you enjoy coming home to find that someone else has been sleeping in your bed or using your toothpaste? No? Well, do something about it before it starts! Also, establish how you feel about the opposite sex staying over! Some might be uncomfortable with it. Don't be afraid to set the line with your roommate.
2. Confront your roommates with problems you have. No one wants a World War 3. Talk it out! It's for the best. Resolve it early, don't let the BS drag on. Also, don't let your roommate take advantage of you! Stand your ground.
3. Talk calmly and openly. Be honest and talk face to face. Calm is the way to go.
4. Be mindful of your roommate's schedule. Share your schedule with your roommate. If you want the room for whatever it may be, let your roommate know. Don't let your roommate question if it's safe to come in or question what is happening in your room. Be mindful of when they have classes and when they need to study. As they should do the same.
DONT'S
1. Expect to be best friends with your roommates. Yes, in some cases, your roommate can be your best friend. Like this year, I am rooming with my best friend. But, odds are, coming into college you are rooming with a random or someone you chose offline. Rooming with someone can be completely different that being friends with someone. You are not obligated to hang out 24/7 nor are you obligated to invite them to everything you go to.
2. Sweat the small stuff. Not everything is worth having a conversation about. A good principle to live by would be the 24-hour-rule. Leave the situation alone for 24 hours. If, after that time, you are still thinking about it and it really does bother you then have a conversation about it. But if it is something that you can and probably should let go, then just let it go. Letting the little things get to you will affect the relationship you and your roommate have.
3. Text each other when you are upset. DON'T DO THIS. I know it is scary to talk face to face with someone you have a problem with but texting opens up a whole new battle. When texting someone, tone and expression are missing and a text is just open for misinterpretation. Sitting down with your RA as a mediator can also be helpful.
4. Don't gossip. You are going to live with this person for a year. If you wouldn't want them to gossip about you, don't gossip about them. Do go to others to complain about your roommate either. In the first year of college, I have learned that Trust between some people is not strong as it seems. Be careful with who you rant to, you don't know who they might go tell.
If you and your roommate don't work out, it's okay. It happens! Talk to your RA or community living and they will help you out and give you options.
