The Don'ts Of Love

I just celebrated my two-year anniversary with my boyfriend. These have been the best two years I could have asked for, and he has treated me extremely well. I know this is sounding like it’s going to be a cliched article about boyfriends, but this isn’t an article about checking off a list to determine if your man is marriage-worthy. This is an article discussing how he should be treating you, and how you should be treating him. Because no one deserves to get hurt in a relationship. Clearly, you care for each other if you’re dating. So here are some things not to do in a relationship.

Do not give ultimatums

While this may sound like it is the only solution to a problem, it is really not. Giving ultimatums is just going to make things worse. It’s going to make your significant other feel like you don’t care about their feelings, and it’s going to hurt the relationship more than help.

Do not say, “If you love me, you would do this for me”

I would never say this seriously to my boyfriend. You should not be pressuring your significant other to be doing anything that they’re uncomfortable with. They love you, no matter what, but sometimes there are lines and boundaries, and you have to be able to respect that.

Do not threaten them

I jokingly threaten my boyfriend, but he knows I’m never serious. Seriously threatening your significant other is not OK. Threatening to leave them if they won’t do anything for you is bad news. Both of you are going to get hurt if you threaten them.

Do not insult/bully them

If you’re just joking around, it is one thing. But if you are harshly insulting your significant other, than that’s not OK. They’re supposed to be one of your biggest support systems, and you insulting them is going to drive them away.

Do not hit/hurt them

Abuse in relationships is never OK. If you can get arrested for it, don’t do it. If you hurt someone, it could change their lives and yours forever. They’re going to start to feel unsafe around you, and try to leave, but feel like they can't escape. Don’t trap them, and don’t make them feel small.

Don’t take advantage of them

You should not try to leverage yourself to make them do things for you. If they do not want to do anything, you need to respect that and move on. End of story.

Now, I know that this sounds like I’m making sure you don’t treat someone poorly. However, this is also is to make sure you don’t enter a relationship like this. None of these things are OK. Do not let someone make you feel inferior, because I’m sure you’re an amazing person. And don’t treat anyone poorly, even if you don’t have a relationship with them. You really never know what someone is going through.