Almost everyone loves a good romance movie, the ones where the girl is resistant because her parents would disapprove, because she’s torn between her heart and her head, or because she’s completely oblivious and doesn’t know she has a soulmate in her AP Physics class. The boy puts everything on the line and by the end of the movie, he gets the kiss which promises an unending and innocent love, followed by domestic bliss. But if we think about it, aren’t these movies a bit creepy sometimes? How often does the boy or girl go too far to get attention? How often is love substituted for infatuation? And how many of these things do we actually do in real life?

We’ve all seen a movie that has used the Romeo and Juliet balcony scene in some form or other. The girl has run off, gotten mad, or had to leave the boy for whatever reason. And the boy comes to her window, sings a song, makes an apology, or declares his love. Sometimes all of the above.In the movie, it’s pretty romantic. But how many of us would be creeped out if that happened in real life? I personally do not want to look out the window and see that a guy has been watching me change into my pajamas. I don’t care if he has a guitar or not. He does not get to look into my window from behind a trash can.

What about the guy that strategically places himself so that he can run into the girl and talk to her? He goes to her favorite coffee shop and pretends to read her favorite book. Or he loiters outside her classroom or workplace. He’s making an effort! He just wants to talk to her in a casual setting so that he doesn’t seem like a creepy stalker. Except that he had to know where she would be and when so that he could talk to her. And if he’s got her favorite book, he had to know that too. So the stalking had to be a bit of precedent, right?

Okay, let’s try one more. What about love at first sight? You meet someone at a club, bar, or a park and its instant chemistry! The girl leaves without giving him her name or number. So he does everything in his ability to get into contact with her again! And it’s just so romantic because he already loves her and all that crap. But let’s remember that they know literally nothing about each other. They could be completely incompatible. She could be married, a lesbian, or an aspiring nun… or you know, just not interested. (How unthinkable!) So once again, we have the romanticized stalker... and we all know that love at first sight is a huge Hollywood trope.

My point is, just don’t be a stalker and don’t let movies romanticize it for you. If someone is being pushy or too forward and you’re uncomfortable with it, don’t take it as a compliment. If you have memorized your crush’s schedule and know all their favorite things (and you did not get most of this information from them) then, you are a stalker. Sorry. And ladies, you can be the ones doing this too. It’s not always the guys that are being too pushy at the bar or in class. So guys, don’t let someone do this to you, either.

Basically, don’t stalk the person you’ve got a thing for. Pursue them, yes. Make a point of spending time with them, talking to them, doing nice things for them, yes. Learn their schedule and show up at their house unannounced, no. Please, no! It’s not as though there is a fine line between creepy and romantic. If you think about it for a minute, its actually pretty obvious. Just respect their personal space and private life. If they’re not inviting you into their personal space and private life, that very well may be your cue to stay out. So don’t try to force your way in.