I have always counted my blessings growing up. For most of my life it was just me and my brother as hang out buddies. We hated each other until maybe a few years ago when we became lazy adults and realized that hating each other took too much energy. I never really felt any different to anyone else. Truth be told, I was a big tom boy growing up. I hated skirts and dresses, I preferred scraped up knees over tea parties, and I did not even know what a makeup brush was let alone how to use one. Not to say that any of these things made one a boy or a girl, but you and I both know what kids did to other kids who chose one thing over the other. Those were dark days. Little did I know those days were just beginning.

As a budding young adult now, I am faced with the stark reality of living in a man's world. I can pin point the exact moment of this realization. It was a bright summer morning. I was on my way to work and needed to stop by the bank. The bank did not have an adjoining parking lot so I parked down the street. I knew the neighborhood so it was no big deal that I had to walk a short distance to and from my car. The walk to the bank went fine but on my way back to my car I noticed there were two guys standing on the corner of the street and the panic began to set in. Now it may be paranoia but there was no reason for me to feel paranoid at the time. I had not watched any new docudramas nor indulge in any thriller movies recently. Not to mention it was broad daylight out. Usually I can handle passing people down the street, even people who may give me weird vibes. I thought nothing of these two guys but after going through numerous trainings to prepare for emergencies my mind went full worst case scenario. As I walked toward my car, I decided to cross the street so I did not have to pass the guys directly but as soon as I crossed the street they did too. Cue paranoia levels at a high. I hastened my pace and gripped my keys tight in my fist. I needed to prepare to fight if worst case scenario became reality. Spoiler alert, I did make it to my car safe and sound. Turns out those two guys were just catching a ride from a friend who was pulling up.

Now I know my story is not one of great shock value but that in it of itself should speak volumes. Why would a person be so fearful of simply walking back to their car in broad daylight? A better question is why would a woman be so fearful walking back to her car in broad daylight? When retelling this story to my family, my brother in particular saw nothing that would point to a dangerous situation. That is because my brother can walk through this world without having to fear harassment from the opposite sex, without having to be constantly vigilant, and without having to protect himself at all times. I on the other hand grew up being told to be aware of my surroundings, to watch out for "dangerous men", and to protect myself in any way possible. I learned to walk with a buddy, to make sure I am not followed, and to carry some form of weapon on me. At the ripe age of 22 I now subconsciously hold my keys between my knuckles, carry a pocket knife in my purse, have a whistle for a keychain, and have been aimlessly shopping for pepper spray. At the ripe age of 22, my male comrades can go to the bathroom by themselves, have no worry about what to wear while they are out, and shop for the latest trends in tech gadgets online. And that my friends is what is inherently wrong about the society we live in now.

Something happened between the time I was interested about the scabs on my knees and now where I am interested in the next self-defense tool. That something was growing up in society that victimized women and glorified men. Sure, not all perpetrators of violence are men but most men do not grow up having to learn that they will likely be victims. I consciously spend my days attempting to drive out the societal fears that I as a woman have to uphold. Every day is a constant attempt to carry myself like a man (that is part of the reason it took me this long to even look into getting pepper spray). I walk the streets like I have no care in the world. I make eye contact with each and every person I walk past on the street; yes, even with those people who give me the creeps.

Unfortunately ladies the world will not give us the power we want and deserve, but frankly why should it? We should not expect to have that simply given to us. We must empower ourselves to take it in any and every way we can. I cannot speak fully to the social movements that encompass this article. All I can speak for is my own experience and my own thoughts. Small actions are like ripples, they echo and they spread. One of my best friends taught me about intentional action so do the world a favor ladies (even if it rarely does one for us), take back your role in society by consciously choosing to see past the walls of the box that has been placed on us. Wear what you want, do what you love, and strut your stuff.