I’ve struggled to find the words to say to you for eight years now, and I think I have finally found them. You and mom have been divorced since I was a year old, but we use to be close. This may seem odd to you, but I’d actually like to thank you for choosing someone else over me. It may have been the best thing you could’ve done for me.
I want to thank you for choosing your new wife over me. I may have been your daughter for 12 years before you met her, but I guess a few months was more important to you than a 12-year-old relationship. Remember how close we were before you chose her? Remember how much time we used to spend together? I know I sure do, but you made your choice and you chose her.
You chose her, and at first I was mad at you, mad at her, but now I can’t thank you enough for it. Thank you for missing my high school prom and graduation. Thank you for missing me go through college, for not getting the chance to meet my boyfriends and friends. Thank you for missing out on me growing up. Thank you for not being supportive of my career choices, for not answering text messages I send you and for not wanting to see me. Why am I thanking you for these things? That answer is simple, because you gave me the chance to get close to someone else.
Sure, I still get those monthly child support checks in the mail, but those don’t mean much when you want no contact with me. Every text message and phone call that goes unanswered is just another reassurance that you made your choice. However, while you’ve been off with your new wife the last eight years, I got closer to the two most important men in my life, my grandfather and my step-dad.
Both of these men would move mountains for me, and they just might. While my grandfather now looks down on me, the relationship I created with him after you chose your new wife was a relationship I could never forget. He taught me everything, he’s the reason I am the way I am. He showed me what family meant, and that you never turn your back on family no matter what. He taught me to work hard, to treat others with respect and to not settle until you reach your dreams. He was more of a father-figure than you ever were.
That man that you hated so much when he came into my life when I was 5, well he was three times the father you were after your wife came along. He had no responsibility for me whatsoever, and he could’ve been the step-dad who just saw me as the "step-kid", but he’s the opposite! Thank you for disowning me and letting him be there for prom and graduation. Thank you for letting him be there to meet my friends and my boyfriend. Thank you for letting him be supportive of me as I go through college. Thank you for letting me create an everlasting bond with him and most importantly, thank you for letting him be the father I deserved, the father who still hasn’t turned his back on me despite every circumstance imaginable.
I’ve learned that the hardest moments in your life, are really just moments that are going to turn around and be a blessing in disguise.
The daughter you left behind for someone else